By Your Side (Twenty One Pilots)

Raindrop Fears

That night it decided to rain.

Our two heroes, if one could call them that, had just finished their dinner. They picked up some fast food on the way back to the motel, vowing that "this will be the last time, Josh. Just smell those fries. They're so good. Last time, Josh. I promise. Healthy food from now on out."

The rain began as soon as Tyler's head hit the pillow. He was out within minutes. His body was still upset from being dragged everywhere and beaten up, and the anxiety from being taken to jail exhausted him to the bone. Josh didn't blame him, but Josh couldn't' fall asleep. He kept playing the kiss over and over in his head.

Had it all just been a scheme? Just a ploy to tell the cops so Josh could see him? But that's not how it worked. No, Josh could've gone to see him anyways. So why the kiss? Why say that they're boyfriend? Josh was confused. But the term didn't feel weird.

Boyfriends. It was good. It was nice. Josh liked it. No. Wait.

He was scared of it. He didn't love Tyler like that. He didn't like Tyler like that. He couldn't. It's wrong. You don't fall in love with your best friend.

Who said fall in love? Josh did. Because he was falling in love. No he wasn't. Tyler was a friend. And that's all he could be. He could never love Josh back the same way Josh loves him. But Josh doesn't love him. He can't.

That's not what friends do.

"What don't friends do?" Tyler mumbled as he sat up.

"Nothing, Ty. Go back to sleep." Josh had to stop talking to himself outloud. He could get in trouble fast. Well, not trouble, but people could find out things he didn't want them to find out.

"Okay," Tyler said. He fell back onto his bed and was out again within seconds. His gentle snores mixed with the sounds of falling rain. Josh had never felt so comfortable.

And neither had Tyler. This trip was exactly what Tyler was hoping it would be. He could feel his own past and problems melting away and the bind between him and josh was growing stronger. He was really getting to know his best friend. Not just his favorite pizza toppings or when he prefers to brush his teeth, but even after living with him, this roadtrip showed him how hard of a worker Josh really is. How kind he is to other people. How he is on his bad days and what really makes him happy. He can learn what exactly friendship and love means to him. Seeing eachother everyday is one thing, but going through everyday as each other being the most important thing and relying on that person to drive you in the right direction and basically trusting them with your life, well, Tyler never thought he would know or trust someone this much. Let alone love someone this much.

He couldn't tell Josh any of this, though. All her past relationships, before Lily, had ended because he was to clingy. He never wanted to be apart from them. He said I love you too early. He messed things up. He liked being friends with Josh and he longed to have something more between them, but if it was meant to be he would wait forever for Josh to do something first. The last thing Tyler wanted was to lose his best friend again because he couldn't control his emotions.

The rain was a lullaby to the boys as their thoughts swarm around in their heads. Somewhere down the street a child woke up from a nightmare and ran to her parents, clutching her teddy bear as she went. Next door to them a dog was dreaming. His legs were kicking as fast as they could. He had to catch that rabbit. The cat beside his watched idly and patted at the dog's tail every once ina while. Across the street two teenagers sat in the rain on the roof. They were having their first fight after being together for eight months. They would make it though it.

When Josh was younger he had a very hard time comprehending that the world revolved around things other than him. He thought everything was about him and his life and everything else was just a background character. And maybe that's how it really was. Maybe the interpreter of the world is the only real person and the rest simply exist to give the interpreter and vivid hallucination of life. Maybe history and everything was all fake simply to trick the person living into thinking that they aren't alone. Maybe Josh is alone. And maybe Tyler isn't real. Nothing's real. It's only him. He's all alone.

"Josh," Tyler whispered into the night. "You gotta calm down, man. I can practically hear your heartbeat."

"I can't, Ty. I'm freaking out. Life is an illusion and you're not real. I'm all alone."

Tyler opened up his arms and pulled his blanket back. "Come here."

Josh climbed into the bed next to Tyler and let his friend wrap his arms around him. Josh took a deep breath to try and slow down his heart while Tyler gently rubbed his back.

"If I'm not real," Tyler said, "and you're all alone, then how can you feel this?"

Josh shook his head. Butterflies were erupting in his stomach.

"If life is an illusion, how can you breathe and run and see? How can you create and experience and learn and fall in love?"

Josh shook his head again.

"This is real, Josh. This is life. You're never alone, no matter how life tricks you to believe that. I'll always be here for you."