Rab Rakha

Chapter 32

"How's the work on the flyers going?" Kriti, the branch manager at Relianz asked.

"I'm working on it, mam. Almost done, I can show you the draft." Shehnaaz replied as she opened her laptop. She had just logged in today.

"Nah, you keep it with you. Actually the marketing department wanted to get in touch with you regarding the upcoming advertisement. Unse directly baat karlo." Kriti suggested.

"Okay mam." Shehnaaz nodded, deciding to check and proofread her matter one last time.

"And one more thing, humari office parties me hum sab thoda thoda contribute karte hai. HR ka birthday hai within a few days. 15th ko, so the girls around here plan a small lunch party." Kriti told her.

"That's sounds good mam, mai Piya se puch lungi. I'll contribute and help with the party set ups." Shehnaaz replied.

"Yeah. You're settling in well, right?" Kriti asked with a smile.

"Yes mam. Quite comfortable now." Shehnaaz smiled, her manager was a nice lady.

She got back to work once Kriti left and that's when she realized the date today. Her eyes fell on the corner of her laptop screen where the day, date and time were on display. On 15th of April was HR's birthday. Even Jagjit's birthday was this month on 13th. Oh God, how could she forget that!?!?!!??

How on earth could she forget her father's birthday! She used plan it for days back when she used to be in Delhi, either she'd drop by to her parents' house and surprise them. She'd order a cake, her father's favourite mutton biryani from his favourite restaurant and gift him stylish sunglasses because he liked wearing them. As if everything came back to her like a flashback, she couldn't think straight and felt so ashamed and guilty for forgetting her father's birthday. She was such an ungrateful child, she was beginning to forget her father who passed away recently. Her heart was palpitating, she wanted to apologize to Jagjit and tell him that she still loved him the same.

"Mam, I'm not feeling well. Can I take the day off?" She asked Kriti, wanting to run home to Madhu.

"Are you okay Shehnaaz?" Kriti asked back, just an hour ago the girl seemed fine.

"Yeah, actually. Uh- I- I'm feeling sick suddenly." Shehnaaz just lied, she didn't know how and what to explain to her manager all of a sudden.

"Oh. Okay, you can go and if you need the sanitary stuff urgently, they're in the washroom." Kriti replied immediately.

"Okay mam. Thank you." Shehnaaz replied, she felt bad about lying but she just wanted to leave at the moment.

Walking out of the building, she looked at the busy streets and heard the constant honking of the vehicles. Was this new work and city too much to handle that she was beginning to forget what brought her here? She saw a bus coming up while she was at the bus stop but then didn't get in.

What was she supposed to go home and tell Madhu? Either way her mother was going to be upset, for she forgot her father's birthday and then left the office during the day time. A wave of helplessness hit at that very moment, she was unable to focus on work and wasn't able to go home either. Madhu had already had enough, Shehnaaz didn't want to bother her mother more with her.

"Yeh sab itna mushkil kyu hota ja raha hai?!" She cried, letting her tears take over as she felt her chest tightening with immense burden of the feelings she carried around daily.

Grief. It's an unending and undeniable process. Sometimes you cry, sometimes you don't and it's never enough to let everything out and feel light and free from the loss. The void, it's stays forever and all one can do is wait till we learn to live with that void inside ourselves and keep consoling ourselves for a better tomorrow. The loss of Jagjit in her life will always be there and there were going to be days she'd miss her father a little too much and today, it was one of those days.