Rab Rakha

Chapter 52

After the breakup with Shehnaaz, Sidharth found himself fighting with a whirlwind of emotions that he struggled to articulate. As an unexpressive kind of a person who intended to internalize his feelings rather than spilling them out, he retreated into a shell of silent anguish.

Turning to alcohol offered him temporary solace. It numbed the ache in his heart and momentarily eased the loneliness. Each drink was a desperate attempt to drown out the memories and emotions that haunted him but it couldn't actually fill the void. It reminded him of how drunk Shehnaaz was when she flirted with him for the first time.

"Shots! Shots! Shots!" The crowd cheered and Shehnaaz and Sheena gulped down a small amount of neat vodka at once.

"I like her already!" Mannat exclaimed.

Sidharth had been noticing that for a while now as well. His sister's best friend had an interesting personality. She seemed sweet, loud, fun and talkative at the same time. He saw how she was single handedly looked after the party while talking to people. Not to miss how she had politely requested him to try not to miss this party for her best friend, he had to agree that if she wouldn't have kept in touch with him and asked him again and again about his arrival, he might not have made it.

"Haaye! Maza aa gaya!" Shehnaaz chuckled, walking past him with her friends but stumbled suddenly.

"Aram se." Quite a coincidence it was, that he was nearby and quick to catch hold of her hand.

"Thank you." She sheepishly smiled and then blushed. She was so drunk, the alcohol had begun to work because she was staring at him.

"Shehnaaz, you okay?" He asked her, unable to hide his amused smile because she was staring at him in an indifferent manner.

"Abhi tak toh thi."

"Why are you so handsome?"

"Wha- I'm sorry?"
"Chalo kisi ne toh notice kiya mujhe."

"Notice? Mazak kar rahe ho? With all of these!" She asked him, pointing at his big biceps and the duo chuckled.

"Shehnaaz!" Someone called out.

"I'll be right back." She politely excused herself.

"Sure, I'll be here." He nodded, sipping his drink.

"Aww." She kept her hand over her heart dramatically to have heard that and left with a heavy heart.

Recalling those moments with a heavy heart Sidharth chugged down his drink. Firstly, he experienced a profound sense of loss. Shehnaaz was someone he was deeply affectionate towards and cared about, despite his difficulty in showing it outwardly. Their relationship was a sanctuary from his usual introverted tendencies, a safe space where he could let his guard down and be himself. Losing her felt like losing a part of that safe haven, leaving him feeling vulnerable and exposed.

"Hm." He answered his phone without looking at it's screen.

"Montu, kal Masi ke ghar leke jaane wala the tu Mom ko shaam ko. Time se aa jana." Preeti had called to remind him about their plans.

"Hm." He sleepily replied.

"So raha hai kya tu?" She asked and he simply hung up, not wanting to answer her.

"Remember I told you about Naman?" Shehnaaz asked Sidharth the other day while they were settled on the sofa of her apartment after dinner.

"Hm."

"He likes me."

"And you?"

"I'm serious, Sidharth."