Rab Rakha

Chapter 36

"Sidharth, ek minute." Shehnaaz kept her hand on Sidharth's chest and pressed it a little to maintain some distance in between them.

"You- you can't just do that, okay?" She told him as she tried to slow down her palpitating heart. He did not just kiss her in the middle of a serious moment!

"Didn't you-" he wanted to know if she didn't want him to kiss her. A few minutes back when she was crying, he felt like a kiss would help. He realized he shouldn't have done that, picking up on his impulsive thoughts.

"Ek taraf tu mujhe avoid karta hai, aur dusri taraf tere ko chumma chati karni hai?" She asked him. As much as blunt she was, it sounded so cheap and hilarious at the same time that he couldn't help but laugh.

"Baat kar toh raha hu, kab avoid kiya?" He asked with a smile.

"Kiya hai tune, ignore mara hai mujhe pehle beech beech me. Teri shakal pe likha hota tha ke tu zyada baat nahi karna chahta." She told him, crossing her arms against her chest.

"See, I just want to know if you actually want me. I've been clear and loud about myself, tu bol tere ko chahiye ke nahi?" She asked then.

"Toh abhi jo hua usme samajh me nahi aaya? Ke mujhe chahiye ya nahi?" He asked her back.

"Teri na yahi problem hai, clearly boldega ek baari toh kya jayega tera?" She countered.

"Right. Right. Mai 'clearly' teri tarah kuch bolta nahi, toh mere side se kuch nahi hai. Tu sahi sochti, thik hai." He nodded, replying to her.

"Aisa nahi hai, mai yeh nahi bol rahi ke tune kuch nahi kiya hai mere liye. Mai roh rahi thi toh tu apna kaam chhod ke aaya mere pass. You've been there for me, even when I wasn't here in Mumbai. There's no denying that lekin.." she replied, worrying that he might interpret her words in another way.

"Lekin Sidharth, you cannot deny that you've avoided me a couple of times. Look into my eyes and tell me if I'm wrong." She asked him.

"Fine, I did." He shrugged and she gave him a sharp look in response.

"I didn't know what you wanted from me, after you said everything was over and I had agreed with you. I'd still think of you though but I didn't want to." He told her.

"Why wouldn't you want to think of me?" She frowned, asking him.

"Kyuki tune bola tha ki tujhe nahi chahiye. You said it felt wrong whatever we had back in Delhi!" He answered, he wondered why she was acting like she didn't remember her own words.

"Ha, maine bola tha. Lekin Mumbai aake mai tere se baat karne ka try kar rahi thi na." She tried to reason up.

"But things had changed by then. We were not the same anymore, you had moved on. Please don't make me repeat all of that Shehnaaz, jaise tujhe kuch yaad nahi." He told her and looked away, annoyed by how the situation had turned into.

"By change you definitely mean when I made out randomly with someone, right?" She asked him. She was amazed somewhere because about a few weeks ago when she had tried to talk about that very incident with him in the same place, he didn't say anything and acted like he didn't care.

"Tujhe toh sab yaad rehta hai na? Mai kuch din pehle tere se usi baare me baat kar rahi thi toh tab tu bada bhola ban raha tha!? Tab tune aise dikhaya ke tere ko faraq nahi padta, ab kya ho gaya?" She challenged him, to say it on her face if he thought she was some characterless girl trying to approach him.

"Maine aise nahi bola tha ke mujhe faraq nahi padta. Stop making things up, maine kuch nahi bola uss time kyuki mujhe uss bare me baat nahi karni thi. Bola nahi ka yeh matlab nahi mujhe bura nahi laga hoga. I didn't know if I was sure enough about you, I wanted to sort out my feelings first!" He retorted, getting mad at her.