MIDNIGHT DAYDREAM

Chapter 9

"I think they are all conspired to get me with Kim."

It takes a while for Macau to get through Porchay's whisper. "Huh?"

Porchay says it one more time, this time directly to Macau's ear. "Why are you whispering?" Macau asks, also in a whisper.

Porchay gives him a body language of 'They are watching us' by pointing the cameras with his eyes.

Macau chuckles. "You're getting paranoid."

"No, Cau, please think about it. My Hia hates Kim's guts. Kim's attitude too," he stops to ponder for a while, "Well Kim's everything. But he didn't say a word when Kim said he would marry me. Marriage, Cau! That's more than just a big deal for him. That's colossal. The normal was Hia would've shot Kim right there and then."

"Have you talked about this with your Hia?"

"Tried, multiple times. He won't meet my eyes and looks like he wants to cry every time. He's now actively avoiding me," Porchay looks at Macau like that itself is solid proof.

"Phi Kinn?"

"No word just pity look."

"Phi Khun?"

Porchay remembered their conversation. "He said ...," he hesitates, "He said that's not a bad deal." Porchay deliberately skips the part where Khun said he must step up for his own happiness.

"That's odd," Macau thinks. "I distinctly remember it was Phi Khun who helped Pete talk to Phi Porsche about us studying abroad."

Macau nods. "I haven't talked to Phi Pete, but your Hia also said to take the deal."

"My Hia?" Macau points his finger to himself, looks like he doesn't believe that Vegas wants to get his hands on this kind of problem. "When was this talk?"

"When we went for a beer."

"I don't remember this."

"You were in the bathroom."

"Oh." Macau pauses, "He must have something, Phi Kim. Getting one of them to say yes, it's probable. But getting all of them," Macau whistles, "It's almost impossible."

"Yeah." There is silence before Porchay groans, "I'm fucked up, am I not?"

Macau, being an honest friend, answers with a, "Yeah." It makes Chay want to cry. "My head hurts thinking about this over and over again."

"Do you still have feelings for him?" Macau asks. "That's what's important."

Does Chay still have feelings for Kim? Well, hate is a feeling.

'Are you sure you hate him, though?' Something in the back of his brain intervenes. 'Hate doesn't make one waver and shiver just being close to him'.

'The truth is, you never forgot about him. You can't fall into the same hole, because you never get out of that hole. The truth is, your heart still aches for him.'

But Chay, just this once, doesn't want to be honest with Macau. He wants to stay in his denial for as long as he can. Because in that denial, all the work he had done for the past year would've meant something.

"No," he says. "I just ...," he can't continue. He doesn't even know what he wants, to be honest.

All of these ... They confuse him.

He knows that Kim is pursuing him at the moment. He's not blind. That man, step by step, is wiggling his way into his life again. He's so busy but he always spends at least 10 minutes seeing Chay trains with Vegas and discussing a way to make it better and prevent Chay from being injured. His favorite words when they train are 'slow down', 'focus', and 'you're going to get hurt, Chay'. The last time has Vegas rolling his eyes every time.