Your Starless Eyes Remain || A Gerard Way Fanfic

{ 1 } Introduction : A Day in The Life

     Feeling my head about ready to drop, I sigh with impatience as my eyes droop, just gazing at the clock, watching it tik. Working the night shifts at the coffee shop has been difficult lately, like, really difficult. My eyebags are permanently sunken into my face, no chance they'd be going away any time soon.

     Wiping the top of the counters down with wipes, I realize how messy me and my co-workers are. For fuck's sake. With another deep sigh, still struggling to keep myself conscious, I manage to clean up before the next workers come in for their shift later in the morning. I take a deep breath as I glance at the clock once more, 6:30 A.M. Thank God.

    I was the last one out of there as I locked up the front door, flipping the wooden Opened/Closed sign over so that it read 'Closed'. I stride down the sidewalk to the parking lot on the left side of the shop, it was completely vacant except for my car being there. You could probably see a tumbleweed during this time in the morning. You'd expect it to be busier in the streets, right? Not in my town. The only reason I've been doing the night shifts is that they pay significantly more than the daytime shifts, and fuck, was I struggling right now. College is pricy, my apartment is pricy. I need everything I can get, so if that means sacrificing my beauty sleep and my healthy sleep schedule, so be it.

     There isn't much to me or my life. I don't have many people to reach out to, except maybe my co-worker. I have another person as well, he's my best friend who moved away to California, so I don't talk to him much. He's a very "non-phone" type of guy. I miss him like crazy. It's been a heavy burden on me recently, and I've been struggling with a lot of loneliness. Maybe it's the fact I work alone most nights at a 24-hour coffee shop, and no one cares to make conversation with me, maybe it's the fact I'm barely able to make it to college every day from my exhaustion, fuck, I don't know.

     Blinking my eyes swiftly and still trying to keep my head up, I start up my car, praying I don't fall asleep behind the wheel as I attempt to make my journey home. I push down on the pedal, gripping the steering wheel tightly as I make a right turn out of the parking lot, and turning onto the road that will lead me to my apartment complex.

     After about three minutes I enter the complex, my car struggling to drive over the annoying bumps that make my body jolt up from how close to the ground my car is. Pulling my car into one of the parking spaces, I shut off my car, open the door, grab my keys, and rush to my apartment. I've never been so excited to sleep in my entire life, I think.

     Upon entering my apartment, my eyes feel like they're going to fall out of their sockets. I set my stuff down on the kitchen counter, lock the door before I nearly forget, and immediately head to my bedroom to change into something more comfortable before I get my three hours of sleep until I have to head to campus. Lately, I've just been waking up and heading there, meaning I show up presumably looking unapproachable. That could explain why people aren't willing to talk to me. I don't even care at this point, I'm fucking drained.

~

     My alarm goes off. I groan as I struggle to turn it off, and just like that, I got my three hours in. Wearing some raggedy black and red plaid pajama pants, I slip on a black zip-up hoodie over my black tank top and grab my pair of wired headphones alongside my Ipod, placing the headphones around my neck as I head out of my room, I can still feel the exhaustion banging on the inside of my eyes, and my chest feels heavy. I'm not sure how I'm going to make it through the day, but I can try, right?

     I sigh, sliding on a pair of black Converse as I grab my crossbody bag which I keep all of my schoolwork and books in. I exit my apartment, locking the door behind me as I make my way back to my car.

     I get in my car, and begin to drive to campus. This is what my daily life is usually like. I close up shop, sleep for three hours, and head to my college. It was a simple but tiring routine. Repetitive as well. I so very much hoped something would change soon, but I guess things won't change unless I make an effort, at least that's what my mom used to tell me. I haven't seen my mother in months. I just assumed she didn't care enough to check in on me.

     My mind burdens me with unwanted thoughts once again, but I eventually make it to campus. I pull into one of the parking spots and hesitantly get out of my car, locking the door behind me. I was dreading today. I try to keep my head down as I can hear the muffles of people speaking as I walk through the corridors, my right hand gripping the strap of my bag as nervousness overtakes me.

I didn't know why I felt so scared all the time, I go here every day, but I guess knowing there were so many people around me, just made me feel scared. I've never really been treated right by my classmates, throughout middle school, and high school, and it's unfortunately come to haunt me in fucking college too. When you don't dress like everyone else, when you don't have your hair the same way as everyone else, they'll take that and harass you for it, just because you're not like them. I never let it stop me from expressing my style, though. If people can't understand it, that's their loss.

     I'm in my second year of college, studying art. It's been helping, I've learned and improved a lot. The people in my class tend to themselves, and it's probably the only place in my college where I feel like I belong.

     I open the door to Art, swiftly making my way to my seat which was in the back of the room. The tables are always covered in paint; red, blue, and green messily splattered across the hard grey tables. The walls were painted a pleasant turquoise and gorgeous painted canvases lined each wall. There were wooden shelves, full of paint, and cabinets filled to the brim with paper, more paint, and some other basic art supplies.

     I set my bag down on the table, analyzing my classmates as they flood into the room, filling up the space, and taking their seats. Being by myself all the time caused me to pay close attention to the other students, call that weird, but it's interesting. I listen to their conversations, I find out what they like, and I listen in on the drama, it's fascinating.

     As I mindlessly begin to sketch, I soon realize that I definitely should've brought an energy drink with me today. Fuck. It feels as if my brain is barely capable of functioning. I sigh, resting my head on my left hand as I continue sketching, roughly creating an idea for a character.

~

   School ended around 3:30. I tried not to think about how I'd have to do the night shift again tomorrow as I made my way home.

     I groan, exhaustion completely overtaking me as I entered my apartment. I toss my bag onto the floor, quickly pull off my shoes, and swiftly head to my bedroom, I set my alarm, and I soon drift into a deep sleep.