We Go Together Or We Don't Go Down At All

Rift in the shadows

As time passed. Things were tense between Zack and Alex. It has been Two weeks of relentless overtime at the bar for Zack. Their whole relationship has been reduced to sporadic texts and missed calls.

Alex barely recieved a call or text from Zack at this point. And they haven't seen each other in person. Zack has been consumed by the demands of his job, and has found himself increasingly distant, lost in the whirlwind of his responsibilities.

Alex has been yearning for his partner's presence, and has felt the sting of neglect gnawing at his heart. He has been begging for time with Zack. Alex is worried Zack no longer loves him.

With trembling hands, he texted an invitation for dinner to Zack.

Alex: Hey Babe... I know you have been busy and I am trying not to bother you. But we miss you, can Everly and I make you dinner? Please? I love you. ❤️

Alex felt pathetic as he pleaded for just a sliver of time with his boyfriend.

Zack:Oh baby. Of course I miss you  both too. I am sorry I have either been at work or sleeping the last 2 weeks. I would love to join you for dinner. I promise I will be there. I love you too. Please forgive me. ❤️❤️

Alex: Great. We will see you at 6 tonight!❤️

Zack: See you then baby. ❤️❤️❤️

Alex smiled as he confirmed his plans with Zack. He was excited to see the man he loves. He missed everything about him. His smell, his laugh, his touch. Alex just felt alone. He felt a sense of hope that Zack seemed excited to see him and Everly.

Later that evening, Everly and Alex sat at the table that was adorned with a carefully prepared meal. They found themselves alone, abandoned by the one they cherished most.

"Daddy. Zacky isn't coming is he?" Everly pouted. Tears in her eyes.

Alex pulled her to him and hugged her. "I am sure something came up honey. We will see him soon.I will make sure.He loves us. I know he does."'

Everly nodded and Alex wiped his own tears away as they ate dinner. After Alex tucked Everly into bed. Alex was filled with sorrow and regret as he cleared the table.

Tears stained his cheeks as he confronted the painful reality of Zack's absence, a cruel reminder of his diminishing significance in Zack's life. With a heavy heart, he typed out a couple messages, trying to make sure he told Zack everything. As he typed he was heavy with sorrow and resignation, pleading for a glimmer of hope.

Alex: Zack, I am done trying to beg for your time.
I know when we started dating you told me that your work schedule could always be an issue, but you were always so good with communicating with me about it. And up until now, you have always made sure to make time for us. It's never been two weeks without seeing/ barely speaking to each other at all!

Alex: The most I've spoken to you in the last two weeks is the text message you sent me today, promising me you would be here for dinner. You didn't even show up. And that almost feels worse than not hearing from you. You just abandoned us. It doesn't feel or look good right now. I need some space. I am deeply hurt. And Everly is hurt.

Alex: We just miss you and we love you. I love you. I can't shake this fear...that you don't love us anymore. That you don't love me anymore. If there's someone else just tell me. If I am the problem. Please just tell me... And I'll let you go, but I love you more than anything... more than I've ever loved anybody else in the world. If you ever want to talk to me again. You know where to find me. But please give me some space for a few days. I need to get over this pain you made me feel tonight.

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At the bar, Zack was in the storage room for all the booze, he took a moment of freedom and checked his phone. His eyes read over Alex's messages. His heart ached at the sight of Alex's anguish. His words were like a dagger to his soul, the pain he caused was a stark realization of the havoc his negligence and poor planning had caused.

In his thoughts, he grappled with the weight of his actions. Alex was right to be scared. Zack was not making Alex or Everly  feel loved or important. They didn't feel like a priority,they didn't feel loved. Alex extended a metaphorical olive branch to him. By offering to make him dinner, and spend an evening together.

Not thinking clearly he stupidly agreed to pick up a shift at the bar. To help out. Alex had every right to be angry. Everly had every right to be hurt. Zack completely abandoned them without warning or notice. Zack struggled within himself as to why he didn't think about the plans he made with Alex and Everly first.

He was upset with himself that he doesn't remember when his priorities shifted back to work being first again. It must of been when he heard of a day manager shift opening. He wanted to prove himself and get promoted to the day manager. So he could have his schedule line up with Alex's, but in focusing on that goal, Zack lost sight and made what he was working so hard for feel abandoned and alone. He had deeply hurt Alex and Everly.

"Oh no." He whispered to himself.

Zack was filled with remorse as tears pricked at the corners of his eyes. The texts from Alex were acknowledgment of the selfishness that had blinded him to the needs of those he held dear.

Jack came into the storage room, worried that something wrong with Zack. Jack wasn't sure, but he had a gut feeling So he swapped with the other bartenders and said him and Zack are on break.

"Hey Buddy. You disappeared. I had Desiree and Tony swap in for us real quick so we can take a break." Jack said as he approached Zack.

"Sorry I came in here for tequila, and checked my phone. I fucked up Jack. I fucked up really bad. Look."

Zack handed his phone over to Jack who read the messages from Alex. His facial expression going from concerned to angry, to sad.  Jack's facial expressions were much like Zack's when he read them.

Jack gasped as he read them. "Zack! You lied and told me you were reaching out to Alex more and you said you were free tonight when I asked you to help!"

Zack nodded as his tears began to fall. "I know. I know. My brain literally forgot I made plans with Alex and Evie. Which startles me. Like they mean the world to me. Loves of my life, and my exhausted brain didn't realize..."

He paused to control himself. "I have been working so much and being available whenever because I want the promotion to day manager,so my schedule can line up with Alex and Everly's more often. So anytime any of you managers ask me something, I am always free."

Jack scoffed. "Zack come on. You know that job is yours the moment you applied. We are just waiting for Craig to get back from Vacation.  But you ruined  your relationship. Zack you always do this!"

Zack sighed. "I know. I know. Help me. Please? I just want him back."

Jack shook his head. "He never said he was breaking up with you, he just needs space for a few days. So give him the rest of the week, and we will figure out a different grand gesture for you to use this time around. He loves you Zack. Those messages aren't from a scorned man, just a hurt one."

Zack nodded. "You're right."

As Zack confessed his fears to Jack, relaying the raw ache of his realization that he had let his priorities falter, allowing the love between him and Alex to fray at the edges. Zack felt stupid and foolish. This whole situation was A fault of his own ambitions.