The First De-Quandran

My Life In HD When It Looks Much Better in 144p

I'm not going to start my story at the beginning, because technically there's two beginnings: my conception, when my father drove me here, and when I realized I was brought to the wrong camp.

Three. I meant three. I'm not good at math.

Anyways, my name is Steven De Mayo. I'm 19, stupid tall at 6'11, and I live at Camp Half-Blood in a cabin just off the Aphrodite cabin. I'm painfully obsessed with myself being the son of the goddess of love, so I demanded to have my own cabin. Gotta make sure the losers know I'm more my mother's child than they are.

Ha... just kidding. Actually, they all hate me with a burning passion Aries would be proud of, and I know why.

I'm not a half blood, I'm more of a three quarters blood. My mother, Aphrodite, apparently got bored of being gorgeous and getting practically whatever she wanted so she decided to bang a half human, half mermaid and then had me. Grandpa Zeus didn't like that, so he struck the Mermaid and my mother was forced to give me up to a male human she had fallen in love with in ten seconds flat. Killing the mermaid made Poseidon upset, and to get back at Zeus he blessed me with the power of a siren (but who knows how that works cause I sure don't) and I guess mom blessed me with boyishly good looks. And a vast array of awkwardness.

So to recap, three thirds inhuman, orphaned, "blessed". I should be thrilled, hypothetically, because I was living the life before I got here. My dad, Gregory De Mayo managed to keep me completely unaware for 16 years. Satyrs that find us demigods, they're few and far between now that more and more are being acknowledged and claimed. I never had one, it's been just me and my dad my whole life. And somehow, he was able to avoid everything that could possibly be dangerous. We moved a lot. He homeschooled me. He tried to take me out to the ocean as often as possible. He was a terrified, cautious man but he loved me. Chiron called him a hero when he finally brought me here after packing my bags in a panic and screaming at me to just trust him. Greg was my hero. He taught me the music I craved from such a young age, he shaped me into the person I am today and despite all the Greek stuff I am a person. A real person, with feelings.

Lots of feelings. Feelings that are so vibrant and painful and terrible I can hardly stand to have them.

I didn't know what was going on when he told me, "You'll make it big, Schtu-ball, I just know it. I'll be there for whatever comes next."

He was murdered in front of my very eyes by a fury while I screamed and cried on the other side of camps boundary and he smiled at me so big, like he was proud of me already. He meant 'whatever comes next' in the context of next-next. Like being dead. Like leaving me here and abandoning me in this world that seems to not want me. I thought he meant for whatever life had to throw at me living at Camp Half-blood. I thought he meant I could call him and cry when I realized I didn't fit in. I thought a lot of things, but I was wrong. My dad wanted me, and me being me killed my father.

Enough of my pity party, I have to tell you about camp. There used to be 13 cabins for all of the main gods, but a decade ago they added a bunch more for the other gods. Camp Half-blood expanded wildly and we're more full than we've ever been according to the camp director, Mr. D.

Right... Mr. D or Dionysus, god of wine and partying cursed to work here as compensation for chasing after a forbidden nymph. His shirt is burning my retinas, I'm sure of it. It's covered in zebras wearing top hats over blue and neon green disco patterned pants. It's a real fashion don't. They should've been donkeys, because he's probably the biggest pain in my ass there ever was. "Hello, Stella. What are you doing not following the schedule? Feeling rebellious, are we?"

I sigh heavily and stop in my tracks. Heading to dinner always filled me with dread, or really any time I had to be around the other campers. "It's Steven, I'm headed that way literally right now, and I'm a boy," I tell him for the thousandth time.