Maybe, Maybe Not?

The past is a ghost

I stare at the empty word document its cursor ticking in front of me. Its been taunting me for the past ones hour ticking in sync with the clock beside it... tick tock it goes as the words fail to form in my head into a single coherent sentence. Every second that goes by without an idea writing itself down is torture.
Whatever I type is deleted within a minute.
You know the script won't type itself if you stare at the laptop worse curse at it. Serena sets down a cup of coffee a judgy look her face. "Caramel macchiato? "I ask hopeful. "The only." It's my pick me up drink the one that fixes my mood.
"Why can't this write itself?"
"That would call for magic and right now we're in short supply of that, but hopeful."
"You think the accident caused a funk?"
"You mean writers block and no you only injured your ankle and arm. If only we were so lucky to be compelled. "
I throw a pillow at her laughing.
"Your mind is perfectly capable of creating magic on the screen and making everyone forget that they exist in reality for a while."
"Getting lost in a fictional world doesn't help when you can't focus."
"Look at you being all poetic, where's the rational side of you today?"
"Decided to take a trip to fantasy land."
"Wouldn't hurt for you to focus on reality for a while real life may provide inspiration."
spending too much time in fiction marrs reality. No matter how safe it is.
Fiction makes everything better. I stand by it.
"So what happened on your date with Ian?" A knowing smile crosses her face, her eyes twinkling like she knows something I don't.
"It wasn't a date Ser, it was two people hanging out.
Since when are you 'two people?' "
"Well last I checked we were. Where are you going with this?"
"You know that friendship never stays the same when you people are attracted to each other. There are bound to be feelings. Strong ones at that."
"You're reading too much into something that's barely even there?" Isn't it ?
"Think about it. This could turn into something you were looking for something perfect before Lucas. "
The moment Lucas is mentioned my body stiffens.
Lucas, blonde hair dark eyes striking features. Charm oozed off him that he had everyone wrapped around his fingers in seconds if not minutes of meeting them.
But underneath all that was a gaslighting, narcissist that did not care at all.
"I'm sorry to bring old flames but turning back into the past will hold you back from something you wanted." I knew she had a very valid point her way of making it though, not her best moment.
"That asshole makes my blood boil Kels, you know that. He took away your spark, questioned your talent and your beautiful heart."
It's true his betrayal hurt more than anything. I was stupid for trusting him for falling for his false words, gestures and flattery.
She eyes the stack of brand new books that sits on the coffee table.
"You could always dream about a certain blue eyed vampire and create your story."
"That's not the point and you know it."
"He bought you books. He automatically tops the list of any guy you have dated. Correction the only guy you dated and he deserves to be a distant memory."

Episode 3 scene 2:
Elena is writing in her diary about her meeting with Stefan. A small smile playing on her lips. She gazes into the distance, staring into the dark night.
In the same moment, Stefan is writing in his journal about Elena. She isn't Katherine.
Damon: Elena looks at me today and I feel alive just for a few moments,
Damon: You are writing about Elena aren't you all broody and secretive in your journal spilling dark secrets that no one can know about. Way to appear mysterious especially in Mystic Falls.
Mystic Falls feels weird to be back here isn't it?  Stefan: Nothings changed and yet it feels like lifetimes ago. When's the last time you were here? 1940s?
Damon: 1950s 1954. To be exact. Small towns suffocate me you know that. It doesn't hurt to check on home once in a while.
Stefan: What would you know about home.
Damon: I know enough to know that if you stay longer than intended the skeletons come tumbling out of the closets.
Stefan: Don't you want to belong somewhere?
Damon: Take your chance Stefan build a new life start fresh. God knows we are not meant to be back here. No matter how irresistible the allure of Elena is. I wouldn't want to ruin my reputation of a nomad.

I pour my focus into fiction because the past and its reality are catching up and I'm not ready to revisit burned bridges and forgotten ghosts of memories.