mlp:eqg 'aura' || poorple

chapter 3 - the casier

I was looking at the ceiling. I honestly didn't have the energy to turn my head any way. I was too overwhelmed by my state of mind and body. To say the least, I was crying.

Real world showed itself once every few minutes, when I got choked by my own tears for a moment. Couple of seconds in silence, every now and then, made me realize I was in pain. I knew from experience, my eyes were going to be sore after today's session of melancholy. 

My breakdown started when I decided to stay home today. My body wasn't showing me any signs of wellness for going through a school day. After I finally woke up nearly before noon, I got nervous about my decisions. What if it was not a good choice? What if someone noticed and talked about my absence? What if it'll make my return tomorrow a living hell? And most importantly, what if everyone from school thought I didn't come cause' I don't care about getting better anymore?

That broke me more than I could've realized. I didn't stop the panicking thoughts fast enough. With that, I was left to take all the heaviness my own body put me in. I let my tears fall down my face and onto the floor. I sounded like I was in agony.

I came back to reality, when I noticeably started calming down. My nerve system seemed to loosen up a bit. When it was finally coming to an end, I got kinda relived.

I was aware that in a few minutes, it'll leave me very tired. Although, I only cared about for me and my mind to come back to functionality. Especially when my despairs became more and more frequent.

I got into a sitting position during hiccups that resulted from crying. I wiped up my eyes gently while breathing heavily, and looked at the clock. When it showed me that I've been crying for more than an hour, I knew I needed to put something into myself. While I was standing up, I also felt I guessed correctly.

I quickly looked in the fridge, scared I'd lose all the energy. Sadly, I realized I didn't have anything, really. I must've been busy by my mental state to bother about it before. The view also explained why I haven't had any breakfast as well.

I had only one choice, which was going to the store. At the same time, it didn't sound quite as bad, when staying in my apartment all day would keep me miserable.

I quickly decided to go to that one store I wasn't in for a while. I used to go there often at the time I firstly got here. It had surprisingly good prepared food that I could simply put into a microwave. It helped me a ton when I wasn't doing well at using hands instead of hooves.

Forgetting about my previous situation I got out of the house. I picked up an old way to go, which brought back some memories.

The building hasn't been visited often cause' of its location. It wasn't one you walked past by while doing your things. With that, I was sure it was also a safe space for me. I probably didn't have a chance to find anyone from school, nor anyone who knew me.  

I opened the door and imminently turned right to a known section. I picked up lightly anything. It didn't matter anyway. I also took some random chocolate bar, so I could already gain strength on a way home.

As I wanted to walk up to the cash desk, there actually was a line of two people in front of me. I got myself at the end of it without any unpleasant reaction. I wondered though if this kind of small queue started to be something common here.

I finally focused on what's around me, as I heard a quiet voice of a cashier, who were scanning the customers' purchases. I didn't think much of it because I was just checking my notifications on my phone. It took away my waiting time.

As I was about to be served, I looked up.

-Good... afternoon... - I started to take what was right in front of me. Pure shock raised in me. I felt like I was seeing an unreal. My mind has been turned upside down. I felt like I was losing my mind for a second.