The marked

Chapter 2 : girl

Then the nightmares came.

They always come every night and they all have the same truth. That I'm a coward, monster, that I failed to save Jason, Dakota, Don and all the others. I wasn't surprised to see tattered purple and orange shirts shredded or clawed or speared or burned or with a million holes. They had too much blood to be eligible but I could still tell when they were from..

The war.

Then I saw him, the person I failed the most, Jason Grace, former prator, member of the 5th corhort, former councilor of Zeus's cabin, son of Jupiter, brother of Thalia Grace and my best friend. He had a spear in his chest and arrows littering his body just like last time I saw him.

"This is your fault, you're the reason we're dead" he said as others emerged from the darkness behind him.

"You killed me," Lavender, daughter of Hypnos said as she appeared from behind me with a slash on her neck, "You freaked out and slashed your sword through my neck if you needed the reminder." (I didn't by the way need a reminder the scene was still sharp in my mind.)

"You didn't even say a thing as you watched me turn into a tree," Don said, kicking my foot causing me to fall "guess I wasn't special enough like you for a proper goodbye."

"You're an unfit part of Rome you timidus,"Dakota said, his feet on mine making me unable to get up, "You saw the man coming at me but you just stood there in "shock" and let myself be killed."

"You were too distracted to save me," Rudy said, her shirt soaked with blood as she stomped on my hand, "if you kept on trying I would still be alive."

Others came and started talking about how I could have saved them but I was too lazy, too cowardly, too immature, had my head up in the clouds too much, they were right of course but it still didn't make the words hurt any less.

Then they dissolved back into the shadows but their words still lingered as some other people appeared, but the newcomers weren't dead, (hopefully) they were some friends of mine, Piper, Nico, Will, Percy, and Annabeth. But they looked angry which isn't normal for them but also this dream wasn't being like normal. Are they angry at me? They had good reason, I've killed so many demigods and monsters in my opinion though it's probably about a tenth of how many they have killed.

"You killed Jason!" Piper yelled, her image flickering between herself now and what she looked like while Jason died. I wanted to say no but my mouth didn't let me. Must know not to tell lies.

"You don't belong anywhere much less as a Greek," Annabeth said.

"You're too weak and scared to be my sister," said Mr. Jackson.

"If you were more observant I wouldn't be so stingy," Nico said his voice like a ghost.

"If you were more concerned I wouldn't be blaming myself for all the patients that have died." I looked heartbroken at Will as he said that.

"I wish you were never born. "

" No one is ever going to love you"

"You never get anything right. "

" You're worthless."

What they are saying is true but why does it still hurt?

"Wake up!" My mom said shaking me awake, she had her hair in a bun and a casual outfit with a sweater on top.

"Okay.."I mumbled as I put on some jeans, a high colored striped long sleeved shirt, and a sweatshirt with books on it after she left the room knowing I like privacy.

"Come on, we're leaving in 10 minutes." She yelled through the door.

"Coming!" I yelled as I wrapped my scarf around Hermione styled, I grabbed my backpack and practically flew down the stairs trying to forget the nightmare. I grabbed two toaster-ed waffles as I ran out the door.

Once we got inside the car, I took out my book and started to read, I just needed a break from everything, the world, going to a new school again, the nightmares , and worst of all the memories but the news would be a close second with the talking about war going on in some places and all that jazz. Recently the memories have been showing up for frequently.

Today, unfortunately, the book wasn't cutting it, I tried my other coping strategies, drawing, writing, making up stories inside my head, squeezing my hands back and forth, pressing my thumbnail into my other thumb, but none worked.

"Hey, you okay? You look overwhelmed," my mom asked me from the rearview mirror.

"I'm good just...." I stared off into the sky for a moment, "just tired I guess." I wanted to reassure her, that I'm alright, especially since last time I slightly revealed my nightmares we had a big talk about grief works and I don't want to put either of us through that again.

Also if she knew how many times you failed she would hate to be your mom you murderer!

I went back to trying to calm myself down so I don't have any flashbacks because that will get hard to explain.

My mom put on some music from Spotify, after a couple seconds I heard the lyrics to Let You Down by NF, I know he does more sad songs but they are easy to sing to because of him rapping and I bring a fast talker, also because of a different reason. Then once the song was done next came Born for this by the Score, then Superheroes by the Score, then 1985, and then I realized my mom had put on my favorite song playlist, something she does when I'm overwhelmed, overthinking, or need a pick me up. I use to tell her but recently I haven't because it would go into a whole conversation I'm not ready to have yet.

"Thanks Mom, you're the best."

"Anytime, remember you can always talk to me about anything, even if it's about camp or the none or that hotel. "

We sat in silence for a bit before my Mom asked if I was excited for school. I mustered the energy to give her an ecstatic "yes!" I actually was nervous now that my memories weren't clouding much emotions.

As we continued to drive I asked my mom about her job and how it was going, I loved it when she talked because her face always glowed when she talks about being a journalist. Also then at least one of us is not faking being happy. I always love how to laughs without thinking.

We continued to ride to the school with Golden Hour by JVKE playing in the background.

Thanks so much for reading this I know it was very long.

Come on don't be a stranger comment!

Also here is the question for this chapter, what is a color you like?

Mine is blood red.