teacher's pet

don't think that you'd understand

𝘵𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘨𝘦𝘳 𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 𝘪𝘯 𝘰𝘱𝘦𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘵𝘦𝘳

≛

karl makes his way out of his lesson, dragging himself down the school hall, feeling like a void of a person.

he woke up almost a whole hour before his alarm this morning. initially, he had been surprised, thinking he must've accidentally fallen asleep early and decided to just get ready for the day. now, he can recognise that he definitely should've tried to sleep again, because he definitely did not get enough rest.

his morning had also been understandably ruined when he'd initially rolled over and felt the pain in his arm, looking down to see the swollen red lines that decorated his wrist.

even now, half a day later, karl wants to cringe and grimace at the thought of what he did to himself. with a clear mind, he finds it even harder to work out why he did what he did. it was stupid, he can see that now.

he'd obviously put on a long shirt this morning, because he would genuinely rather die than let anyone see his arm, but he didn't contemplate how itchy and uncomfortable it would be. considering most of the cuts didn't break the surface of his skin, he's surprised by how badly some of them hurt.

now, karl is supposed to be going to his english class.

instead, he takes himself and his bag and walks right out of the front of the school with no regard for being caught, and heads straight home.

for starters, he doesn't want to see lucas for the obvious reasons. even disregarding what karl saw yesterday, he has been ignoring lucas' texts all day and doesn't intend to give him a chance to talk in person.

he doesn't need to hear what the older man has to say. what could be possibly say that would make up for not just playing karl and making him feel special, but also for cheating on his wife and not thinking about the effect on his kids?

karl doesn't hate lucas because, as learnt, he finds it impossible to just disregard how he feels for someone -he still loves alex, for god's sake- but he definitely hates what lucas has done. he wishes he could dislike the man, but it's hard when he made karl feel so good over the last few weeks, even if it was all just fake.

karl wants to know the older man's reasoning for what he did. he wants to know why lucas picked him, and what he wanted to get from it. was it just a game to keep him occupied? did he ever really like karl? was it just a rouse that he hoped would end in a quick, easy fuck?

the air is hot as karl walks, and he pinches the material on the arm of his shirt, trying to pull it away from the shitty cuts he made, in the hopes that they'll stop itching. the cuts are so surface-level that he thinks they'll fade in a week or so but, for now, they are too red and swollen to risk having them out. there's no way you could miss them.

another very valid reason for skipping english is because karl also doesn't want to see sapnap.

they've been going through a rough patch but sapnap is still his best friend, at the end of the day, and karl knows that the ravenette would recognise there is something wrong.

karl, who usually loves basking in the sun, doesn't think he would get away with his choice of shirt on a day like today. he would probably be able to think of an excuse, because he's awful at lying to sapnap and he has a feeling that the ravenette would see right through him.