The Mindf*ck Series

Chapter 3

𝘞𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢 𝘯𝘪𝘤𝘦 𝘨𝘪𝘳𝘭, 𝘢𝘯 𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘴𝘦𝘦𝘮𝘴 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘢 𝘴𝘦𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘥. 𝘞𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘪𝘵 𝘰𝘯 𝘢 𝘳𝘦𝘥-𝘩𝘰𝘵 𝘤𝘪𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳, 𝘢 𝘴𝘦𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘦𝘦𝘮𝘴 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘢𝘯 𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘳. 𝘛𝘩𝘢𝘵'𝘴 𝘳𝘦𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘷𝘪𝘵𝘺.
- 𝘈𝘭𝘣𝘦𝘳𝘵 𝘌𝘪𝘯𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘪𝘯

𝗟𝗔𝗡𝗔

It's after five when I start looking at my watch, wondering if I really am being stood up this time. I'm not sure what compelled me to call him, flirt with him, then agree to a date. Maybe it's because I need to feel less like a cold monster and more like a woman.

I lived. Others died.

I lived, yet I feel dead.

Maybe I want to feel alive, considering my time may be limited. I should treasure every moment…when I’m not collecting on an overdue debt. It’s not exactly romantic to think of a guy while you’re slicing another one to pieces, but Logan was definitely on my mind during the three days I spent reaping the debt from Ben.

Not in the dark recesses of my mind that are reserved for revenge either. No. Logan was in the good parts that I thought no longer existed. He awakened a long-gone light as though not all the good inside me had been destroyed.

Just as I’m about to text him and find out if he’s okay, there’s suddenly a body sliding into the seat in front of me, and my eyes pop up to meet a set of soft blues. I could stare at those eyes all day. The rest of him measures up to those perfect eyes too.

He’s sin and pleasure wrapped in a package I’m tempted to peek at. “So sorry,” he groans, motioning a waitress over. “There was a traffic jam. I actually had to abuse my power and hit the lights just to get through.”

My smile surprises me every time he makes me use it. “It’s fine. I was just worried,” I lie, well, sort of. I was worried about him, and I was worried I’d been stood up.

His grin is genuine and instant when he sees I’m not pissed, and the waitress shows up, ending the moment of two idiots grinning at each other.

I honestly can’t remember a time when my stomach was fluttering around. I was just a teenager when my life was shattered and the illusion of normality forever stayed out of my grasp.

This is the most human I’ve felt in so long. And it’s just a coffee drive- by on his way to work.

We both order, and the waitress walks away after giving him a quick once over and winking at me as though she approves. Not that I need her approval.

“So, what made you agree to meet me?” he asks, apparently skipping small talk. I guess that’s wise, since our time will be limited. Not to mention he interrogates for a living, so it’s only natural to start a date out that way with him.

I decide against telling him that he makes me feel like a woman instead of the monster I’ve had to become, since he’d sort of lock me up and throw away the key.

“What made you want to ask me out?” I ask him instead.

His grin spreads wider. “You’re deflecting, but I’ll bite. You’ve been in my head. Your turn,” he says, leaning up on the table with his elbows.

“You’ve been in my head too.”

“Ah, see, that’s cheating. You can’t just parrot my words to keep from disclosing too much. That’s a commonly used tool in a detached personality.”