SHE WAS NEVER MINE

17.

Virat's pov:~

Nights, they are calming, peaceful and soothing. It is when you rest after whole hectic day but what do you do when, in a night all you do is stay up like an owl. I have always had hard times sleeping peacefully in nights, because when shut my eyes my thoughts run in my mind like train, have you ever seen train burning it's engine going off mark towards it's destination, have you heard that sound? That sounds has power to make your ears numb. And my thoughts do the same with me, my mind and my senses go numb, and I ended up staying up all the night.

I sat straight on my bed, looking at other side of the bed like every other day I was alone in my room, Ritsy wasn't feeling well so Anushka decided to stayed with her. That's good because my turning tossing would definitely cause her problem while sleeping.

It's not like I don't sleep at nights at all but nights like this, keeps me awake more, the night before my international debut, what do I feel I don't know, there is no butterfly or fireworks inside my stomach but more of responsibility, I know Indian Team is not in best condition with three senior well established player retiring in small span of time, and Yupi paaji's cancer India loose two series in a row that too with advantage of playing at home. It doesn't scare me I love to encounter challenge, It brings out fighter spirit inside of me, but I have never seen Mahi bhai this tensed before no matter how much he tried to hide this I can sense it there something which is bothering him, ofcourse being Indian team captain is not easy at all, and at the end of the day we all feel pressure and he is human too.

I strolled out of my room to the balcony, feeling the coldness of the air I took deep breath, to calm my nerves. I looked up in dark sky,

I wish you were here to see where I am today

I know he wouldn't tell me but he would be proud of me, he would have brightest smile when Mahi Bhai would have given me that cap, and he would tell my mother,

Look that's my Virat!

And with teary smile my mother would have nodded to his words.

I felt my eyes going wet in heat of the moment, I complained about very few things in life, and I have very few regret, but how I badly I wish my father to be here with me to see this dream come to right in front of his eyes, I regret I wasn't able to give him the retirement life he deserves.

Life is such a cruel thing.

"You are still awake Virat?" Her soft voice rang in my ears and I melted like ice under the sun's warmth, she was standing right behind me, I turned around not having courage to look at her, I pulled her in my arms, she was surprised by action but she didn't take a back, her one hand came to my shoulder and other one behind my neck as she tried to calm my nerves. Surely her touch was magic, my lungs fill the air again and I breath against her warm skin, her one hand continuously rubbing my back just to ease me.

She didn't say anything, maybe she knew I need silence more than words, I know she could feel my emotions. The chain of thoughts that making terrible sound in my head is now silent, they were not making my ears go numb anymore, there was another level of calmness in her arms that these nights could never give me, they say home is nothing but two arms holding you,
And yes they are right.

"Virat are you okay?" She asked, creasing my hairs softly, breathing against her skin I replied.

"Nothing, just missing Maa and Papa little bit"

When did my words started coming out so easily?

From the day she started hearing your side of the story.

"They are always with you, it's their blessings and your hard work why you are going to play tomorrow you know?" She losen her grip around me and peering at me with her coffee brown eyes.