Unconditionally (Lesbian Story)

6

"It was all my fault so don't get at Lex." Is Katy's greeting to Jane as we get to the car an hour and Forty minutes later. Jane is actually quiet as Katy and I slip into the car which is a miracle in itself. 

Katy is silent too though and it's making me uncomfortable. I'm not sure if she's thinking about the conversation we had before Jane interrupted and is worrying that we are moving too fast or if she's still worrying about the time we spend apart. I link our fingers and pull her hand on to my lap when she doesn't look at me I squeeze. To my relief she squeezes back and smiles. I sit with her hand in my lap as we watch the world outside the car fly by. Katy hasn't looked anywhere but out of the window since we got into the car and it's so unnerving right now I pull her fingers up up to my lips and kiss her knuckles gently.   The silence is not the comfortable kind right now  and I'm glad when I  finally start to recognise where we are so i know our journey is nearly over. 

"I'll wait in the car." Jane doesn't move from her seat as we pull to a stop and meets my eye in the rear view mirror. She gives me a reassuring smile.

"Thanks." I squeeze her shoulder as I get out of the car.

I motion for Katy to stay put as I make my way round to her side of the car and open the door. Holding my hand out I for her to take she rewards me with a radiant smile as she gets out of the car and comes to stand next to me.  

"What do you think so far?"

"It's amazing Lex." Her smile is warm and genuine and I relax a little. "Show me more." She reaches for my hand and we head inside.

We end the tour out back by the pool she's sitting on the edge her shoes long gone as her feet dangle in to the water. She lazily reaches in and flicks at the water and I realize that this is perfection this is what I want my life to be about. I also know it's not going to be anytime soon and that's ok too I'd go through anything as long as Katy is with me.

"Penny for them." She draws my attention back to the here and now parting the floor next to her. I kick of my shoes and thank anyone listening that I put shorts on that morning as I slip my feet in to the water.

"I was going to ask you what you're thinking you've been somewhere else this morning." I admit glancing at her profile as she looks off into the distance. 

"I know I'm sorry I'm being that needy girlfriend again."

"I never think you're being needy baby you feel what you feel and I want to be here for you through it all."

She's silent for a moment before she starts to speak. What comes out though isn't what I was expecting would be coming.

"When Russell and split up it broke me."

We have never spoken about her divorce properly. I know the facts the cold hard ones that anyone could know but she has told me over and over that it's her past and there's no reason to keep hashing it up. I've respected that though it's something I would have liked to have spoken about known what she was going through and it seems that now she wants to spill.

"I married him because I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with him. I didn't take it lightly and I didn't think he did either. I thought he knew what he was getting into I know the whole Katy Perry side show can be intimidating. I worked hard to be where I am today though and I thought he respected and loved me for that. Turns out he didn't and that hurt a lot. I put so much into trying to make marriage work and when it didn't it left me empty."

She's shaking next to me and I've been trying so hard not to move in case I broke the spell I've let her cry alone. I slide closer and she resists for a moment but moves willingly into my embrace in the end.

"I know we hardly knew each other then but you've heard 'By the Grace of God' that wasn't written as a self-indulgent melodramatic piece."

That song makes the hairs stand up on the back of my neck. If it wasn't such a beautiful song I'd hate it. Its a little insight into just how broken she was. Breaking up with Russell did that and I know where she's going with her train of thinking.

"I'm not  planning on going anywhere." I state kissing her temple. I know her tears are not for Russell she's told me more than once she has nothing left for him. These are for the horrible feeling that history could repeat itself.

"You can't promise forever though."

"No I can't no more than you can I'm not that silly baby. What I do know though is I'm going into this with my eyes open. I know exactly what it means to us that you will be touring for near enough two years. I know exactly what it means that you're the powerhouse in this relationship. My career is nothing next to yours. I know what it means that you live in LA and this is my world. I know all that and I'm still so in love with you it's a little bit crazy. Thing is I'm never going to stop fighting for this. I'm going to be right there next to you battling away to keep us going strong."

"You are just as successful as I am."

Out of everything I said she picks up on that bit it makes me smile.

"Baby no one's as good as you are. That's just a fact and it's not the point. You can't worry about stuff that may never happen otherwise you'll miss all the fun."

"Fun!" She smirks pulling away. "Is that what we call it now?"

"Fun wouldn't even begin to cover what we do baby."

•••••

The flash blinds me for a moment and I blink trying to bring the room back into focus; when I do Katy is smiling at me mischievously. "That better not be going on twitter." My warning isn't very convincing and she just smiles sweetly at me over her phone

I roll my eyes at her and let her carry on. I've pretty much gotten used to her habit of tweeting random pictures of me to her many millions of followers.

She rolls closer to me and I pull her tight so she  has her back is flush to my chest.

"Smile." She laughs holding her phone above us so we can both be in the frame. "Our first official shot in your new home."

"Yay me." I grumble though I'm pretty sure she knows I don't mean it. She has posted shot after shot of me since the world found out about us.

"Hey we need to mark the occasion."

"I thought we just did that." I tease as I run my fingers over her stomach. "Anyway I don't think you get to share the moment. I mean you turn up a day and a half later and moan about the layout of the furniture. I'm not really sure what you did to help." I get an elbow in the ribs and she moves away a little. I was only joking but it seems I may have hit a nerve. I pull her closer and kiss the back of her neck. "Let it go I was joking. We would have changed the moving date till today if I could have but Tuesday was the only day everyone else was free. I missed you like hell though. That's why I didn't unpack much I wanted you to have your say."

"Why can you do that?"

"Do what?" Now I'm confused.

"Make me smile no matter what."

"It's my job." I inform her repositioning us so she's facing me. My phone starts to vibrate on the bedside table and she looks over my shoulder. "I'm guessing that's a photo of Katy and the swamp thing going viral." I joke.

"You look amazing."

"I look like I just woke up how is that amazing."

"To me that's amazing. I like watching you wake up I understand why you watch me so much now."

"You always make it sound like I'm a stalker."

"It feels just the opposite."

"Good because being around me shouldn't be a trauma."

"Oh it's not." She tells me kissing my nose. "Do you really have to go today?"

"Kind of yes. I've committed to this season I can't let Simon down."

"I know I'll miss you all day though."

"I'm not going to be concentrating on singing today I can tell you."

"Will I be distracting you?"

"You always do my days are spent thinking of you."