|ciara- 14|
|backstory- when ciaras mum was pregnant niall didnt know and her mum got addiceted to drugs.She was a drug baby and her mum died 3 months after she was born|
ciara
since i was a drug baby i have seizures. Apparently i used to have them a few times a week as a child but now its rare if i have one . I normally get them when in stressed or upset.
Ive just been sat on the sofa thinking about how my dad didnt have to take me in.He didnt even know about me and it must of been hard for him to find out he had a drug baby. I feel like a burden,like he dosent want me here. I mean im overthinking that.I know he loves me alot and were so close but i always have at the back of my mind that he just felt bad.
I didnt realise that i was crying until dad walked in and said 'whats wrong?'
i just start balling. I dont want to tell him. I cant.
'n-nothing' i stutter out.
'baby your crying what happened?' he says calmly and sits next to me,taking my hands in his.
'do you want me here' his eyes go wide and he gives me a confused look.
'what do you mean ofcourse i do' he says in our thick accent.
'i mean that you didnt have to take me in, i feel like you dont want me here'
'why would you say that?!' he whispers.He sounds hurt.
'cuz i think you just felt bad for me and now tour stuck with me! im sorry about myself and my seizures' i cry
'baby look at me' i do
'deep breathes' he says. I copy his breathing.
'good job... now i just want you to know i was very angry at your mum for not telling me about you. And i wanted you and i still do okay? what happens to you dosent change that.I love you with my whole heart cia so much that it hurts. I dont want you to ever think that again alright?'
his little speech makes my heart full and i nod.
'good' he says and pulls me into a hug.
'i love you so much dad' i whisper
'i love you too princess' he pauses. 'more than youll ever know'
