HEART AT WAR [PART 2 OF A&B] [CSM]

how can you live with this, you fucking parasite?

TW: this chapter MIIIIIGHT make you very uncomfortable (its meant to + im going to be uncomfortable writing it.. sorry not sorry) (oh god im cringing so hard right now im writing the scene please help me) (GUYS PLEASE I CANT IM AUDIBLY GROANIGN NOW PLEASE I CANT DO THIS ok lock in rose lock in NO I CANT lock in bro NO)

You wake, gasping and throwing yourself up. You breathe heavily, blinking and looking around the room.

..What was that?

That dream.. no, that wasn't a dream.

It was a memory..

A deep anxiety travels up your throat, and you cover your mouth as you hang your head off the side of the bed. You squeeze your eyes shut as a cold sweat over comes you. You feel awful.

You choke a bit, swallowing the lump stuck in your throat as you place your feet on the floor. Taking your hand off of your mouth, you place it on your knee.

Aside from the photo.. that's confirmation you did it.

Monster.

Your lip quivers as you take a deep breath, opening your eyes and exhaling.

You notice something.

It's a little.. sticky under you.

You shuffle over, seeing a puddle of blood underneath you. Your eyes widen as you look at your arm.

You should've patched that cut up. Now blood is all over Dede's bed, you fucking idiot.

You pout and groan, laying back down and scooting away from the blood.

It's your first day in America, and you're already having a shitty time.

Or maybe it's your own fault, you're just not letting yourself enjoy it.

Wait, what is there to enjoy? You're not on vacation, get your shit together, loser.

Well.. you could enjoy yourself a bit. Maybe you just need to let off some steam.

You dig through your pocket, pulling out the photo album. As you flip it open, you quietly giggle looking at the pretty girl.

It's almost as if you miss her.

How do you miss somebody you've never met? It's such a weird feeling.

You begin to wonder what you two would do.

Would you, like.. kiss and stuff? You've wondered that before..

Wh..

What aside from kissing, though?

Would you.. like.. have, like..

You quietly whimper as an image appears in your head. You continue staring at one of the pictures of the pretty girl, taking one of them out of the photo album. You look closely at it, your mouth opening a little as you look further down the photo.

You almost can't see anything under her sweater, but.. you're curious.

You can barely see the curves around her chest..

As you continue to imagine it, you find your hand suddenly tucked in between your legs.

You wonder what it'd be like to lift her shirt up, to have her hand cupped around your cheek..

You whimper once more as you place your hand on your mouth, sliding your other hand under your underwear as you begin to rub yourself.

As you touch yourself, you start to pant quietly as you imagine what your name would sound like coming out of her mouth, right into your ear. What would her voice sound like? You need to know.