Back to us | Alexia Putellas

Deserved more.

"How are you feeling?" Ale asked from the drivers seat as we pulled into the car park of the Estado Johan Cruyff for the last league game of the season.

The last league game of my career.

"Weird" I answered honestly. My emotions all over the place as I thought back to all of the memories that we had here.

"Are you sure you want to tell them today? It's going to be emotional enough as it is, maybe it would be better to wait..."

"I know, I thought the same, but I have to tell them at some point. I made the decision nearly a month ago and still haven't told them. I feel like I've been lying"

We had only told a few people about my decision to stop playing. Jonatan and the staff at Barca who obviously needed to know, Eli, Alba, and my parents. Each of them understanding my reasoning behind the choice and being nothing but supportive. I knew that most of the girls on the team would be the same, but there was one who I wasn't so sure about.

"Hola mi chicas!" Mapi called across the car park as we walked towards the players entrance of the stadium, her hand intertwined with Ingrid's as they caught up to us.
"Last game of the season, how are we all feeling?" She asked excitedly.

"Have you forgotten about the champions league final next week?" Ale corrected her best friend as we arrived at the door to the locker room.

"Of course not Capitana, how could I forget about the biggest game of the year" Mapi smirked, before looking at me with wide eyes like she had been caught out.

I prepared for this match like I had any other, although everything felt different. It was my last time sitting at this locker with my name and number written out above my head. It was the last time lining up in this tunnel and the last time stepping out onto this pitch as a Barcelona player.

I think Ale could tell that I was feeling emotional at half time. She remained by my side as we gathered in the locker room, Jonatan doing his usual team talk as my wife's hand remained firmly placed on my waist.

"Let's do this one last time, shall we?" She asked quietly as we left the locker room, her pinky finger subtly intertwining with mine.

Ale scored in the second half, a curling strike from just inside the box hit the top corner of the net and she immediately turned to me, running in my direction and holding her arms out for me to jump into which of course I did.

"Was that for me?" I asked in a teasing tone, a huge smile on my face as Ale held me in her arms.

"Always" she mumbled before lowering me to the ground, her arms lingering on my waist as we walked back to our half to kick off again.

When the final whistle blew, I took a moment to look around, memories of my time here immediately flooding my mind. My first game as a Barcelona player, My first goal, the day of my injury and the months of attending matches as a fan that followed, attending Ale's first match back after her injury with Jordi, my first match back after giving birth and so many more flashing in front of me.

I was in my own world when I heard my favourite little voice getting closer behind me.

"Ma-ma-ma-ma" Jordi babbled away in Ale's arms as she carried him over to where I was standing.

I immediately reached over and took him from her, tears welling in both of our eyes as we took the moment in.
"Hi my little love" I kissed his cheek.
"Did you have fun watching the game with Abuelito?" I asked him, smiling over to my dad who was sat in the stands alongside mum, Eli and Alba all four of them smiling widely and waving in our direction.