BEYOND THE CAMERA (Alien Stage)

Eyes don't lie

Me and my friend mutually agreed that Ivan would definitely be monotonous in both voice and face. His voice is strong for singing, yes, but his weakest is words of affirmation with how nonchalant he sounds. Till is the one who knows how to find the words. He just gets intimidated by Ivan a lot that he gets too flustered to say what he wants whereas Ivan sounds like he's acting whenever he uses meaningful lines because he can't find himself to sound “sincere.”

But no matter if he's used to the habit of masking his emotions, his eyes never lie but no one else can read those obsidian eyes like Till does.

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Ivan was born into the typical rich family with a strict upbringing. Being the only child of his father, he was no doubt going to have all of their assets but unfortunately for them, he had no will to take over the company.

He wanted something else, a career that he wanted, not a position that was passed down to him. Even as a kid, Ivan was set on not inheriting the company so, disappointed as he was, his father passed it to his closest friend. Saying that if Ivan ever changed his mind, he's allowed in the company.

But even if he did grow older, Ivan knew one thing. He was certain that Till was going to be his future, he didn't know when it started but he found himself already in love since they were children.  How the rebellious boy moved him to rebel against his family too, but that didn't work. His family didn't care if he'd be a prostitute,  actor, or a doctor.

As long as he inherits the house, he's still in the family. So, on the funeral day, Ivan couldn't bring himself to cry. His other distant relatives only cursed at him for being so…him. Cold, stoic, and nonchalant. He’s heard of the whispers about how he couldn't even shed fake tears as an actor for his parents, how he didn't deserve their assets.

He didn't care. Truly. What did they know about him? They were just in his bloodline but that didn't mean he had to have connections. He didn't care, he didn't show it‐ He couldn't show it. Ivan on stage couldn't show that he was affected by it, the audience didn't need to know he was grieving.

It's almost time for round 3 filming and he's been practicing his lines over and over again. Wanting to bring out the emotion in his voice but he's so tired. Tired of coming back to an empty house. Tired of having to hear the disdain in his relative's voice. He wanted his parents back but not in the way he would be expected to be.

As he was sitting down in the break room, he was deep in thought. Reflecting about his life so far, he'd dedicated so much time to Till and the others that he started to forget what his relationship with his parents were. He knew they were distant, but he at least knew that even if he disagreed with them: They would still regard him as their precious son.

Remembering the last time they hugged was when Ivan succeeded in being an idol with his debut, they congratulated him with tears as he remembered himself smiling slightly for the first time. He touched the corners of his lips, pulling it up ever so slightly as if to relive the memory of smiling. Years into being an idol, his fake smile had gotten better, as deceitful as he was, he kept hoping that smile would become true one day.

He hoped that the words he would say so nonchalantly to people would reach them, even if he didn't sound like he meant it. He wanted someone to believe him and his words, even when he looked like he was being sincere. His parents saw through him, but after that, he slowly became even more devoid of emotion. Because no one was there to hold his hand, caress his face and say, “My dear son, you can cry and smile now. No one else is watching.”

No one was there for Ivan. But Ivan tried his hardest to be there for everyone. Sua was there, yet she only ever told him to sit down and recollect all his emotions because even if they felt this close spark of a connection: Ivan was bad at communicating about what he felt so Sua was unsure on what to say to him.