BEYOND THE CAMERA (Alien Stage)

Just the two of us, please.

Ivan didn't expect a call from Till so suddenly, then again it was inevitable with how the drama had spread like wildfire. He bit his lip as he accepted the call hesitantly, not prepared for the drastic line.

“Are you seeing somebody?”

Till asked, Ivan swore he heard background music..Wait..don't tell him-

“Are you at a club?”

Ivan had asked without thinking, mentally slapping himself for it. God, it was always like this with Till. He would beg him if he had to just to kiss him again like in the set, he would. He absolutely would. 

“No? I'm at the- Don't try to change the subject.”

Till caught up pretty fast, something that didn't happen often so Ivan knew it was eating him out. The misunderstanding. Ivan knew that if he tried to explain to him now in this state that he wouldn't believe it, not when he already lied at the location. 

“I'm not sewing anyone, those articles aren't true.”

Ivan said, cursing how it came out a bit too cold, he didn't know how else to phrase it to Till- If he was too straightforward the man would think he's reading off a script and yet if he becomes vague it would seem like he is. He didn't like that, the uncertainty in his voice and the sudden lack of decision making skills that he had flaunted well off in his career.

He lived through pleasing the fans as much as Luka did, but for some reason he could never seem to make Till favor him just as much as he did for the others. He got his attention, he got his words, his companionship- But did he ever even have a chance at his first love? Ivan wanted to try either way.

“It's one of Mizi's side accounts before she made her official one, I talk to her so often through that account privately that it slipped my mind that I kept replying to it as I used to back then.”

Ivan thought that Till would be satisfied with just that, stating factual statements like truth. Because it is this time, he just hoped he'll believe it. Then what was said next to him had confused him so much that it set off his alarm of panic.

“No…not that, It's the new article..”

“What?”

“Who was that girl, Ivan?”

Ivan couldn't believe his ears when he heard Till’s voice go uncharacteristically softer all of a sudden, eyes furrowing in a deep frown as he stood up to look at the new headlines and it was of him and a damned co actress that had quite literally forced him to go out for coffee right after his break. Right after he had shown Till around his house. Right after he had lent clothes to him. Chest tightening at the memory with how smitten he was for that man that he could not even care less about what the fuck he did with the Co actress because he didn't care about her.

It was hard to care about anyone else in a romantic sense when there was really only one person that could ever be a victim to Ivan's shallow feelings, one person who made him feel and think love was the answer because he was aching for it. For his whole life of being fed shallow love, a toxic love that would praise yet not in a heartfelt way that Till could- He wanted to chase for it because it ignited the flame that was burnt years ago. Time and time again he felt the fire grow each time Till would do something that made him adore him even more.

“She's just…”

So that's why he found words stuck in his throat because he couldn't find the right words to convey how she really was just a co actress without confessing all of these. Knowing that Till would undeniably get overwhelmed, what if he never looks at him the same?