BEYOND THE CAMERA (Alien Stage)

I am on fire..a crying burning liar.

Luka had always had this inkling feeling that the small action he did years ago would come to haunt him once more.

He thinks this time was appropriate, entering a dance stage that was way out of his league just after he gets discharged from the hospital. Sure, he's danced before- Hell, he loved to do so. At least, elegant dances that is. He's always find it hard to breath in faster or more upbeat ones.

Exactly why Till had spoken out about it when Round 7 was planned, looking at Luka like he was a weak fragile child.

And..he can't help but think he was a bit right, maybe he was still the same damned child from years ago.

One misstep.  

“Luka! Are you seriously doing this on purpose?!”

The dance instructor sighed frustratingly, it's been hours and he couldn't even get the tempo right. Yet…the gnawing feeling was slowly coming up to his throat, caught in a lock : His voice stuck around.

He wasn't doing it on purpose, so what if he couldn't do it as fast as the other dancers? Give him a break. Give. Him. A. Break.

Another try, music starts to beat, lights action!

And another misstep for each rhythm drop, making Luka's head spin around more and more. His right eye twitching slightly when others started to nag him about it. If he dropped down dead right now….

No, he shouldn't think of such thoughts. Not when he had to plead to Ivan and Sua that he's fine again. For now. For now. 

Lifting his arms, bending them to stretch the fingers to reach his elbows, he let the moment linger as he relaxed in the stretch. Trying to keep breath. 

To keep breath…

“Luka! More energy!”

“Come on already!”

“Luka!”

“Luka-”

Luka. Luka. Luka. Luka. It's getting dizzying. It's overwhelming. It's tiring. Sweat dripped down from his forehead as he tried to bend his knees to rest his hands as he tries to stabilise his breath.

He doesn't remember much at all from what he did, he just knew the one phrase to keep listening to his heartbeat.

Luka felt his fingers twitch a bit as he rested it on his knees while the dance instructor yet again gives him a handful as the artists make him stand up straight to tidy him up for the final recording.

Thump…thump…

Slowly feeling the rhythm , tapping his foot on the beat before stepping back and side stepping with a fluid strike: Sliding to the other side while doing the arm choreography - Each step had his hair swishing side to side as he tried to smile through the pain of overexertion. Looking back at the bathroom where Ivan found himself, he felt regret looming over him for going out without eating.

Though it wasn't only hunger that affected his movements, each syllable that came out from his mouth trembled as he couldn't properly sing without straining his voice-

Then he felt it. The gradual progression of ringing filling his ears as he saw black dots in his vision. Luka felt as if his eyes are tiredly trying to keep itself up as he made out the crew murmur something before people started to come closer to ask what's going on.

“I can't…-”

His voice cut off, ending up in a laboured breath as the blurred voices started to stress him out. Furrowing his eyebrows as he lifted his heavy arm to grasp the blouse he was wearing.

In the final moment, Luka had thought: “I don't want to die yet.”

Dropping down below, as below as the above. He swore he could feel his knees crack as laid on the ground.

Is this really how he dies?

That was fine. On the surface. He thinks he wants to cry as he knew if he were to be alive the next time he wakes up he'd be in the hospital again. He hated being in the hospital. He hated being weak. He hated it. Slinging around that feeling like a weapon just to get away from everything.

Luka was always running away after all. Even if he stayed behind, he was running away in other matters. This feeling all too familiar - He had felt it before. The hardship of breathing since everything felt like it was pricking his lungs. He had felt this when he lost the very thing his body tried to keep for him to always be chaste.

He wondered.

If in the end, it was all worth it. His death. Since he believed, for the longest time - If he were to die, he'd know if his life was truly a waste. Of course, there was a price of knowing and not knowing. One lead to the permanent cease to exist while the other continued on the agonizing path of the never-changing destruction. 

He hoped. When he wakes up again, he could finally speak. Even so, Luka doubted that could ever happen. Since, this was a curse he could never tell to anyone without cursing the other. He could not tell amother soul if he didn't reveal his first, which was the most terrifying thing to do. For a witch to reveal he does not have a heart yet speaks to get one. 

Because, at the end of it all, Luka thinks…he may have lost his soul already. Maybe it was the director or even earlier- His father. He doesn't know where he lost it, where he left it. All he knew that nobody moved, at least, that's what he thought- When blood was finally on the floor. 

Like a performance, he felt as if everyone only stood there and watched until the end. A sick joke to make, reaching for life when you live in darkness. Then, he slept again, not before hearing the light that came to him the first time he felt this. Just not this severe. 

“LUKA!”

Ah. 

There she is.

The heart that Luka had wanted all this time.

Hyuna crouched down to scoop him up as she barked orders to the pathetically useless staff, trying her best to calm down as she watched as the graze of Luka's fingertips turn blue.

Too late to regret now.