Something, Nothing

CHAPTER 2

CHAPTER 2 - FOR THE BEST

"Hey, Aarvin," he is looking at me — why is he looking at me?

Okay, I'm done. I turn to Jomar — I 100% hate him now and regret meeting him altogether, "I'm gonna head inside first, okay,"

"Oh, I'll come along with you too," says the very person I'm trying to get away from — mental facepalm.

"Okay," Jomar nods, happily oblivious, slinging an arm around his girlfriend's shoulders, "You guys get the food, and we'll find a table," he hands me his wallet, and orders for himself and Sun Ling.

I did not agree to this. I should have kept my mouth shut. Maybe I should just fake a stomach ache and retreat back to my room.

"Shall we?" Ken turns to me, a small slanted smile on his lips, and whatever plan I was just making to get away, evaporates.

I nod, and we go in, walking side by side. Like I said, my brain doesn't really work right when it comes to Ken.

"So, how are your exams preparations going?" Ken asks me.

This is already going to be hard enough for me with him by my side; I don't know how I'm going to handle having a conversation with him.

So, I decide to not give him much of a choice, "Fine,"

I was fully expecting him to not say anything before that, but maybe he hasn't gotten the clue just yet.

"Not a proud thing to admit, but I haven't really prepared much. I know I should have started revising but... eh," he grimaces, shrugging.

I can't decide if this is a dream come true or a nightmare come true — I thought having to see him constantly was the worst but no, this is the worst.

I don't say anything back to him and instead place our orders. We wait while our orders are served. This time he is silent. Maybe he got the clue now.

We each take a tray and walk back to the tables — Ken spots Jomar and Sun Ling first and directs me. I can feel his eyes on me every few seconds, but he doesn't say anything at all. Or maybe I'm just imagining it.

I'm starting to feel bad now. Maybe I should have said something to him. But it's too late now. We reach the table and there's Jomar and Sun Ling there now. I don't know what I can possibly say to him now anymore.

I risk a glance towards him. He is engaged in a conversation with Jomar and he seems fine — he is smiling.

Maybe I was imagining it after all. He doesn't mind. It's fine.

I don't have to worry about anything more than finding a way to bear with having him around.

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There's a dull buzz in my head. There's something Jomar saying and I'm sure it's a very funny story since the other two cannot stop laughing, but honestly I cannot register a single word that comes out of his mouth and it's a heavy task to even keep my eyes open. And fuck, I still have to study.

I check the time on my phone. It's half past two — more than an hour since we left our room. And I think if I head back to our room now, I can get a quick nap before resuming my revision. I clear my throat, and stand up slowly.

"I think I'll go back now,"

"Aw, already?" Sun Ling asks, her lips downturned.

I give her a small smile, nodding a little, "Yeah. I'm feeling a little tired. I'll go back first," and before Jomar can speak, I add, "You can have Jomar with you for a little while longer though. He was complaining how you guys don't get enough time together,"

That last part is a lie, but anything to let me escape. Jomar narrows his eyes at me but I know he can't be all mad at me — even though it is a lie, I did just buy him more time with his girlfriend and he loves spending time with her.

I wave my goodbyes, don't look at Ken and leave.

I make it as far as the entrance of the cafeteria before I stop. The buzz in my head gas disappeared, replaced with my incessant thought cycle once again.

I don't like that I didn't talk to him before, even though I have a good reason behind it. I just didn't expect him to actually talk to me.

I wish I was under different circumstances, one where I wouldn't have to think twice or at all about talking to him. I have caught bits of his conversation with others before — he seems like a very charming guy, and I'm pretty sure I wouldn't mind listening to that thick yet soothing voice of his anytime.

I let out a small sigh. There's no use in me ruminating over what I could have done, or how I wish things were different. Nothing is going to change anyways.

I look over my shoulder and wonder for a second if it's my eyes playing tricks on me.

It's not. It's actually him — it's Ken.

Is he coming with me again?

I quickly turn away, hoping he hasn't noticed me yet and take a deep breath. Maybe this is my chance to redeem myself. Maybe I can be the one to talk first this time around.

But should I?

How long would it take him to walk out anyways, I wonder to myself and turn around but suddenly he isn't there anymore.

What?

And that's when I notice that he's walked past me already.

Did he not see me?

Should I call him?

I watch him walking further and further away. I don't call him. Really, it's for the best.

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