Something, Nothing

CHAPTER 8

CHAPTER 8 — LUNCH TOGETHER (Pt II)

What would happen if I didn't go to the cafeteria?

He would assume that I hate him — thinking about it, is that really a bad thing after all? What does it matter if he thinks so? Wouldn't that help me, to be frank?

But still I find myself changing my ratty old t-shirt for a sweatshirt and putting sweatpants over my boxers.

It's just lunch, I console myself when there is another much, much easier way where this whole thing can be avoided.

I don't have to look for Ken upon reaching the cafeteria. He's standing right at the entrance, looking intently at his phone. And I feel my own phone buzz in my pockets.

Ken FRIEND:–

Heyy. Just wanted to let you know that I'm already at the cafeteria.

I contemplate replying, but shake my head to myself and approach Ken instead. He only looks up when I greet him.

"Hey,"

"Oh, hey," he appears to have startled and chuckles, placing a hand on his chest.

And for no reason at all, I feel my own heart pick up its own pace by a little.

"You made it!" he exclaims.

"Heh, yeah," I rub my nose with the back of my hand, "Should we head inside?"

I do not wait for his reply and proceed inside the cafeteria. There's not many people there — figures since most of them must have left for the break already. At least it's not empty.

I turn and find that Ken has ventured to the vending machine. Should I go with him? But he didn't call me though, so I go to get my own food. By the time, I have gotten my lunch, I find Ken is already sitting at a table — it definitely will be weird if I don't join him — so I go to him.

He only has a Skittles packet in his hand and two boxes of orange juice, one of which he pushes to me once I sit in front of him.

"For you," he smiles at me.

I don't really like orange juice, but I don't want to be rude either, so I simply say, "Thanks," and then, not able to contain my dubiousness, I ask, "Is that your lunch?"

He shrugs, "Thought you'd get me something," he eyes my tray which only has one burger, and one plate of fries.

This is well beyond embarrassing — how was I supposed to know that?

"Oh, I-," I stand up immediately to get him something but Ken quickly catches my wrist, laughing.

"Stop. I was kidding," he continues to laugh very much at my expense and also very, very much not aware what his hand around my wrist is doing to me, "I'm not hungry,"

He only lets go once I'm seated again and only then I can feel my own hand again — it absolutely felt like a different entity altogether when he was holding me.

"No?" I will myself to ask, swallowing the dryness of my throat away.

He shakes his head.

Then, why the fuck would you ask me to lunch and risk me losing my fucking sanity?

But of course, I don't ask him that and just stretch my lips into a smile, "You sure? I can go get you a burger if you want,"

"No, really, it's fine. I was just messing with you. Relax, okay?"

Easier said than done. I nod to him though, unwrapping my burger and all but stuffing my face with a big bite. The sooner I finish my lunch, the sooner I can go back to my room and lock myself inside and never get out at all.

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Oh, how wrong and naive and incredibly dumb of me to think that I can just leave after lunch. Now, I wish I was back at the damn cafeteria and eating my burger as slowly as humanly possible.

Because Ken and I are walking side by side to God knows where. At first, I thought he would just walk with me until the turning to his dorm building, but we've passed the turn and he's still walking with me (insert exclamation points).

"Are you tired?" he suddenly asks me.

That takes me by surprise a little, "No," I quickly answer, "Why?"

"Because you kinda seem out of it? And you've barely said anything at all," he points out, "I am the one who has been talking since–," he stops talking and walking all of a sudden, his eyes widening a little as he looks at me.

I just raise my eyebrows in return.

"Oh my god. I am being annoying, aren't I?" he questions, and a hand flies over his mouth. Letting out a breath, he removes his hand from his mouth and raises both of us his hands in front of him, "I know I can talk a lot sometimes, and I know that can be very annoying. And I'm pretty sure I'm being annoying now. Wow, I'm saying annoying a lot and that's annoying," he slaps his forehead and then he shakes his head, "I'm sorry. I'm stopping now," he even does a motion of zipping up his lips.

A laugh quite literally breaks out of me at that. And fuck me, he just got even cuter to me. But I can't even freak out at that new addition under my mental Ken file because I'm laughing. And god, it's so freeing — especially after the very personally straining lunch I just had.

Ken coughs out a chuckle as well, "At least you're laughing, even though it's at my expense. I'll take that as a good sign?"

"Oh, I'm sorry," I suck in my bottom lip to keep myself from laughing anymore and only continue talking when I'm sure I won't laugh anymore — it's actually quite harder than I expected it would be. There's still this small tickle I can feel at the base of my throat.

Harrumphing to be rid of that tickle, I apologise again, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to-" another laugh threatens to escape so I have to stop and take a breath before continuing, "You're not annoying," I answer truthfully — in fact I don't even I noticed him talking that much until he pointed it out, "You're cool,"

"So, you not talking is not beca-,"

"I normally don't talk a lot,"

"Yeah, you told me that before too,"

I nod.

"But–," he starts to say and then quickly shakes his head as if deciding otherwise than to say whatever it is he was about to say.

Without it having to be said, I get curious, "What?"

"It's just...," he seems to be in an internal battle with himself and just as I was about to prompt him again, he spills his question himself.

"I've noticed you with Jomar, and even Sun Ling. You talk to them," he says, wrinkling his nose and raising his shoulders up to his ears.

My fave heats up almost instantly — this is not the first time Ken has inadvertently admitted that he notices me and I don't know what the heck to do with that information.

And also, he's... not wrong. I do talk to Jomar and Sun Ling. But it's because it's... they're not Ken! Admitting that is evidently not an option here.

So I go for a different answer — and it's not a total lie, "It's only because I've known them for quite some time. Jomar is my roommate and I see him almost 24/7. Sun Ling has been dating him for quite a while now and they hang out together almost 24/7 too,"

I cannot tell if that answer appeased Ken or not, but it has to do.

He glances down for a moment and his lips do a little dance of their own — and I try to not focus too much on those lips.

He looks up again, and gives me a nod, although it looks very forced I would say, "Yeah, that makes sense,"

I can tell he doesn't mean it, however what he says next, he definitely means it in its entirety.

"Well, that just means we have to hang out a lot for the next week then,"

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