Something, Nothing

CHAPTER 12

CHAPTER 12 — OUT OF MY CONTROL

Out of my control, my eyes skirt over to where I left Ken all by himself. I know he's more than capable of handling himself, but still I can't help but feel bad although it's not of my own doing. Abby still hasn't let me leave their side, dragging me along with them and Sri as they greet each and one of their friends.

As I steel myself to finally speak up and excuse myself, Abby turns to me with wide eyes, and slaps a hand to her forehead, "You!" she exclaims, "You brought a friend along, didn't you? Ben?"

"Ken," I correct her and nod.

"Ken? Like Barbia and Ken?" they let out an unexpected bark of laughter as if that's new information to them.

"Yes, I introduced you two,"

"I must have misheard you then," they say and let out a very unflattering snort.

However, one glance at Sri and he's looking at them with such a lovestruck and tender look that I'm forced to look away, suddenly this feeling of pulling and stirring threatens to wake up within me. I effectively drown out that feeling out by taking a big swig out of the new beer bottle on my hand — Abby had handed it to me and I was not going to say no to that.

"Where is Ken then?" Sri thankfully asks.

No one can misassume anything of me looking for him now, and it doesn't really take me long to spot him. I don't know if I should be surprised or not to find him engaged with someone. I thought he didn't know anyone here.

"Your name is Ken!" Abby exclaims with no inhibition or whatsoever, cutting whatever conversation Ken was having with this other blonde.

And something about this blonde immediately ticks me off and so I pretend not to notice her presence at all.

"Yes?" Ken lets out a small laugh, eyeing me questioningly and I could only shrug back to him.

"Like Barbie and Ken?"

"Sure," Ken just nods.

"Aw. Are you a real Ken then?" there's simply no hiding their enthusiasm and I wonder if they're drunk or if it's just them.

Sri who has been calculatively regarding Ken all this while sighs and puts an arm around Abby's waist and pulls them closer to him, "Don't scare our guests away yet," he tells them and to Ken, he extends a hand, "Hey, Ken. I'm Sriganes,"

"Hey," Ken shakes his hand, "Nice to meet you. And happy birthday,"

"Thank you. You're a first year student like our Aarvin here also, I'm assuming?"

Our Aarvin? My face instantly heats up, I barely know them and I'm suddenly their Aarvin? I don't know what I'm supposed to make of that.

Ken nods, his eyes darting over to me once again and I quickly look away, embarrassed. I could come up with a reason and excuse myself and go elsewhere but the thing is where the fuck would I even go?

The last time I did that is when I met with Sri and look where that has brought me. I do not wish to have another repeat.

By the time I tune in back to their conversation, they have thankfully moved on in a different direction and were now talking about Abby's jacket which was apparently self-made by her. I have to admit it actually looks pretty good. They reveal that they actually made it out of a couple of jeans that did not fit them anymore which is quite impressive, to be honest.

And somehow we suddenly get dragged into a game. Well, not we. It was Sri and Abby more specifically but since we were all standing together, we got dragged into it too.

Dragged seems to be solely my choice of word since Ken looked happy to be involved. I am aware that I have started to blink really fast or really slow and that my thoughts have started to wander more freely, out of control. But still I don't stop myself from accepting drinks and drinking them. Unsurprisingly, the game that we got dragged into involved drinking and kissing. Some part of my brain must be still working because I purposely stand behind the group and silently move aside to avoid being involved but Ken spots me at the last minute and pulls me with him.

And the sudden contact between my skin and Ken's, it's like a burst of nerves that shoots straight to my brain and that intoxicates me more than the total amount of alcohol I've consumed for the night and I stumble into him. He catches me, another hand at my waist and I don't how to even describe that sensation. I suddenly just want to sit in a corner and bawl my eyes out.

"You okay?" he is too close to me.

I push him away as gently as I can, and keep my eyes strictly focused on the floor. I want to go back, I think and I push the words out but all that comes out is, "Mnmh mnh mm,"

Ken doesn't say anything for a while and then he goes somewhere, most probably to the game. I don't take it to heart, or at least I try not to. He is at a party; he's going to want to have a good time, not look after me.

Maybe I should just go back by myself. I can explain myself to Ken and Abby and Sri tomorrow or when I see them again. But before I can even take my first step, Ken is beside me again.

"Okay, come on,"

I look up at him, "Where?" glad to know that I'm still partly functional.

"To your room. You're- You look tired,"

I want to disagree with him and prove him otherwise but I find I do not have the energy nor the capability. So, I just nod and since my brain has started to shut down slowly, I cannot even mind much and sag against Ken as he leads me out.

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