''Landing''

Maybe One Day

Looking out her window, the weather as horrible as her mood, Bella thinks back to the morning Henry left and how awful she felt about the whole situation. She should've trusted him, she knows that, and she feels horrible that she didn't. Even after all this time, that feeling hasn't lessen or disappeared, it has remained and no matter how much she beats herself over it, it doesn't change.

Then you have the little "problem" of her feelings for him. You would think that after all this time, and what happened, that her feelings for him had lessen. Instead, they have remained the same and she would be a liar if she were to say that she doesn't miss him at all.

Lightning hits the lake and thunder rumbles right after, shaking Bella to her core, and reminding her of Josh's reaction when she told him what happened for Henry to leave so suddenly. She'll never forget how mad he had gotten with Alexander, not only for lying to her, but specially for allowing his men to do something so heinous.

Still, and much to Bella's confusion, Alexander was allowed to stay in the Castle and, therefore, to continue to pursue her, even if she doesn't want him to. She knows he thinks that he can convince her to let him court her, now that Henry is gone, but if she already didn't like him, now she absolutely hates him.

Bella is well aware that Alexander won't give up, but if he continues to pressure her, then she will be forced to get Josh involved, and she really doesn't want to. She probably should've already said something to him, but she really believed that eventually Alexander would get the hint and give up.

He is nothing like Henry, that's for sure. Henry was so patient and kind to her, never pressuring her for an answer and allowing her to take her time to make a decision, unlike Alexander who, just like Josh had said when Alexander first arrived, is like a dog with a bone.

She should've made a decision sooner, maybe if she had, none of this would've happened and now she would be with Henry. Bella is an idiot, even she knows that. There's no other way to put it.

Another lightning, followed by another loud thunder that almost makes her jump from her chair, make Bella wonder if the bad weather has reached Henry's Kingdom as well. Bella thought about writing to him, even if to just apologize and tell him all she didn't get to say before he left, but she has been too afraid of what he might think or say if she did.

But maybe if she does write to him, if she puts her heart and soul into that letter, maybe one day he might forgive her. Perhaps not now, or in the near future, but who knows, maybe someday...

Bella watches the rain hitting the window, wrapping herself in a blanket, and wonders why would he ever forgive her when she can't even forgive herself.