Words I Never Got To Say

I wanted to say,
"I am doing well",
yet my insecurities are
creeping like a venom,
slowly and surely poisoning my mind.
I wanted to say,
"You have come far, rejoice your achievements",
yet I could only see the remaining
road I have yet to reach.
Yes I have come far,
but not yet enough to satisfy me,
not yet enough to make me proud of myself.
It is so easy to say, "Focus on your own race.
You are not in a competition with anyone",
but it is inevitable to compare what you've come
to what others have reached.
I have always felt like I was being left behind.
I am not where I want to be.
I am not who I want to become.
I could not  see what I want to see,
nor taste what I want to taste.
Nonetheless, I am embracing that there are days
when we feel our insecurities to the bone,
and it's okay...
It's okay as long as
we won't let it get the best of us.
Life is a carousel of ups and downs.
This is part of our journey -
to question if we have already tried enough,
or we still have a long way to go.
What's important is
deciding to keep on going,
keep on walking,
or keep on sailing
even without a map.
While we feel sometimes that we are not
getting anywhere,
we must bear in mind that rest is a necessary part of our journey.
Rest. Recharge. Replenish.
And once we have rested enough,
may we face our journey head on,
with Fortitude.

- Bleed.On.Paper