FAILURE TO COMPLY ┃ f. odair

5.9 fish guts

On the eve of the wedding, Calypso felt her emotions reach an acceptable equilibrium. It might've just been that she was peacefully wrapped up in Finnick's arms, or maybe she'd truly stopped being so nervous about the idea of being bound to him forever. It was what she wanted, that much was clear. But to agree to a lifetime with someone where life always seemed to be cut short... she could not stomach the thought of losing him in such a way, or of him losing her.

"You're thinking way too hard about something," Finnick voiced softly. He placed his head in the crook of Calypso's head and shoulder to catch of glimpse of her expression. "You've gone silent. Not even breathing. I know what that means."

"Just thinking about marriage," she said honestly. Finnick went quiet then. A thousand questions running through his mind. Was she having second thoughts? Did she ever really want this? "I want to be with you, and I know we'll be happy. It just doesn't feel like it's going to change anything, though, does it?"

"It's not meant to," he replied. "Or, I guess it is, but not in the way I assume you're thinking. It's about love, not about letting go of the past or moving on from it."

"What about all that bullshit about beginning a new chapter in one's life?" she questioned sarcastically. Finnick chuckled and held her tighter. "I love you. I'll love you now and I'll love you then. But I'm scared I won't be able to change, that I'm always going to be this and I'll never be better for you."

"I don't want you to be better," he soothed. "I just want you to be you."

Calypso sighed. Finnick was so good, so kind, so forgiving. She did not deserve it, but he was for her anyway. The past haunted her like an incessant shadow, but he was the radiant sun that kept it at bay. He was too bright for her. Far too bright. She turned over in the bed to face him fully, ensuring he understood how serious she was being.

"Our traumas are going to live with us for a long time yet, you know that?" she told him, running a hand down the side of his face. Finnick nodded softly. "We'll still be waking each other up with our nightmares, we'll have good days and bad days, we'll feel trapped even when we're free. That's just our life, Finnick, married or unmarried. Whether we win this war or not."

"I know," he replied calmly. "But I'll do it with you anyway. We're better together than we are apart."

"Yeah," Calypso smiled with a sigh. She waited for a good few minutes before speaking again. "You're the reason I still have humanity."

"You're the reason I still have a heart," he responded after taking a moment to digest the gravity of her words. Calypso leaned forward, placing her lips to him. Her mind whirred with the knowledge of everything that had been and everything was to come. She pulled away and stood from the bed, Finnick's hands following her as far as they could.

"I have something I need to do," she said. Calypso reached into their bedside drawer, pulled out something small, hidden in the palm of her hand, and quietly left the room.

-

"You look perfect," Monica sighed happily as she regarded her cousin's appearance. It was the first time she'd be able to do anything fashionable since leaving the Capitol, and so she hadn't taken the experience for granted. "He's gonna love you like this."

"He already loves me, dress or not."

Calypso indulged Monica and Effie both when they'd spent several hours doing her hair, makeup and perfecting her dress. She'd insisted on no white, and so they'd designed her a brilliant pale blue dress with what little materials District Thirteen had to spare. It flowed like the gentle waves of the ocean she'd so quickly fallen in love with during her brief time in Four, around the same time she'd fallen in love with Finnick too.