Undercare|| Fyozai

•Chapter five

-January 5th 1918

Dear Dazai,

Something wrong is happening. Something is wierd. I dont even have the time or the shits to give to make this later longer or act like im fine.

Im panicing, way more then i ever did my whole life. Last night my little brother and i had an fight, for the first time in years, mainly becouse i was too afraid and confused to even raise my voice at him but last night in changed, i couldnt bare it anymore.

He went too far and i couldnt take it. It wasnt my fault i swear! I didnt mean to say the things i said. And now i feel so bad, not for Fyodor. For myself.

Fyodor acted as if nothing happened in the morning. Useal breakfeast he makes and the small akward talk we had was even more akward becouse i still tried to understand what was going on. But half an hour later i startes to vomit violently, brutaly and non-stop, for hours and Fyodor just sat there watching me leave everything i ate dor the last days in the toilet by the doors frame in the shawods.

I felt watched but i couldnt care at that mowmnt by how my body was liteltly getting emptied. But after we both went to our own rooms and the whole day the feeling didnt go away. I felt watched, i feel watched. As if a demon is breathing down my ear, watching me write this to you.

I cant even complain or ask my little brother about it, i know it will only get worst. And i dont even know why im writing you this, in the end you are not answering any of my letters for a while and i now im using this letter as an some sort of diary.

Help me Dazai.

Im scared.

-Micheal Dostovasky?

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Dazai presses his one side of his cheek to inside of his palm as he deeply observes Fyodor, cooking like an notmal person. More then normal, the food smells delicous. Triggring Dazai's sensetive(he hates this word when its used about him) nose and Dazai could never eat properly. The things that have too much spice or seasoning the smell alone would make Dazai gag and want to trow up, the tastless things makes him feel lşje he is just eating colories and may get too big for someone's liking if he does, his body quicjky rejecting the food. But crap was his safe food, he was allowed to eat crab. And he saved all his other calories for alchol.

But the simple bread piece dipped in the whisked egg mix with some seasonings smelled good, delicous even for Dazai, most inportently to his body. But like Dazai would ever thrust this creep for his food. Only if his belly wasnt screaming for food right now.

"Bacons or without bacons?" Fyodor asks in a sweet tone, turning his head towards Dazai and not the frying pan. Dazai wrinkles his nose at how disguestingly sweet Fyodor sounds, so happy and to be honest Dazai feels like its not even enterly fake and there is some geneus happiness in his eyes but they can always be fake too. Too much trust and too much confidence is never good.

"I aint eating your food." Dazai spits the words, Fyodor just calmly raises an eyebrow and leaves an giggle as he lowers the heat so the toast wont burn as he grabs the burning toast with his raw hands and rips it to half, leaves the half on the oan and the rest he takes it with him as he walks to Dazai. Dazai's whole body tensing up as Fyodor's steps get a little too close but Dazai fights the alarms going off his head to run.

Fyodor doesnt have an weapan with him, just an half an egg-toast on his hand and the closeness is still enough to make Dazai's body tense up and Dazai wont ever admit it but he is maybe a little impressed by how quickly Fyodor maneged to win his distrust and suspicousness, not all people can do that to Dazai.