Undercare|| Fyozai

•Chapter sixteen

Dazai walks through the door. Every part of his body hurts.

That was why Chuuya always told you to quit smoking, drinking and cutting. Dumbass. Oh and the drugs too...

I need some drugs right now. Meth? Or just some cheap shit to get me high? Oh! Those pills Mori gave me were—

"Focuse."

Right.

I have an party-pooper inside me right now.

That sounded so bad.

No homo.

"What are you even saying? You are not making sense, mortal."

Dazai sighs out loud, frustraited. "We get it, you can read my toughts. Now shush."

The book keeps the silence for a moment where the void is filled with only Dazai's dirty shoes clicking on the cold ground, its kinda sticky and slimy. The blood is unfamiliar. Dazai has seen and felt blood his entire childhood but this wasnt blood. It was clingy.

"Its not fair. You think too much and too loud, i am supposed to shush?"

Dazai growls in annoyence. This was not what he expected. A blue shadow of a hand with a mouth next to his shoulder following him trough the gates. What would Fyodor think if he learned he made a deal with The Devil? Or Book. Same shit.

"Fyodor? Your boyfriend?"

Dazai's eyes widden as he looks to his side where the very talkative hand is, he feels growing angrier and more flustired. Thats why his cheeks are getting red. "You went in my memory!?"

"Ofcourse. Thats the best way to understand and know you, mortal."

Dazai rubs his temples in annoyence as his footsteps gets faster for just the hope to get away from this item but its hard to run away from his problems now.

"No, he is not my boyfriend. If you got in my head, shouldnt you know i dont like him?"

"I can see your memories but not you feeling. Simply becouse feelings are not real."

Dazai shakes off his shoulder, arms crossed. "Well, i wont argue with that."

"You seem to have an more diffrent and more eventfull life then most of the mortals that find me."

"Im hounered, honestly." Dazai says while rolling his eyes, his slander hand pushing trough the last big door that now exposed them to the light of the night and the helicopter waiting them there.

Fyodor's eyes shine seeing Dazai in one piece before his glance slides to his injuired self. Every scar Dazai ever got, healed or was healing opened as The Book combiened with him. Every part of his bandeges covered in blood. And fuck it hurts so much. Whats keeping him moving is the comtrol The Book has over his body from now on.

"Dazai dear, what happened?" Fyodor asks, almost concernedly. Stepping closer to the younger male an the holly item hanging on his shoulder.

Dazai raises an eyebrow in confusion. He was so sure this demon would first jump at The Book, the thing he was looking for decedes. But instead his attention is fully on him.

After getting no answer from Dazai and seeing his comfused expression, Fyodor moves on. "Did you find it?"

Dazai is even more confused now, he looks at his right, looking at the blue lighted big holy hand with an mouth before Dazai relizes.

He frozes.

He cant see it.

No one can see The Book.

It only gives him an calming nod.

Holly shit.

"No."

"No?"

"It wasnt here too. Im giving up, im injuired and helpless. Lets stop the search."

"I was so sure that was not what you were supposed to say."

Dazai gulps.

"Dazai..." Fyodor mutters confused, flustreted and concerned before he sighs and nods. His slander and way colder hand slides in Dazai's hand, holding it softly. "Lets take a break. Come on lets go."

_________•

Dazai sits at the hard seat in the helicopter as Fyodor is infront of him, kneed down. His foot is resting on Fyodor's knee as Fyodor gently rebandeged his tighs and ankles.

Dazai feels like trowing up. He feels sick for lying. For the first time. And for the first time Fyodor belives him.

Dazai has won. He outsmarted and betreyad Fyodor. The great Dostovasky.

But there is pride. He feels sick, not bad.

Odasaku would be disapointed.

Odasaku should've known how much of an bastard i was.

Odasaku should've not belive in me.

Odasaku should've just leave me to die that die so i could rotten in that—

"Everything. Everything about is that Odasaku guy, isnt it?"

...

Pause.

What did you say?

"Im just saying, everything you do, you always think of that guy, everything you do is simply for that guy. Isnt that unhealty?"

You are litearly a hand. You dont know anything.

"I am the strongest item in the universe and we just made an deal. You gave me your soul and body to feed off to so i created millions and millions of multiverse so you could find one where is Odasaku guy can be happy in one of them."

...

"You dont care about the black-white haired boy who saw you as his meaning of life, not the mafia. And the redhaired guy who always tried to understand you."

But he never succeeded.

"But the guy who is on his knees now, treating your wounds did. He understood you."

...

Am i a bad person?

Am i a bad person for caring for someone so much that everyone else around me losts their value?

End of the chapter.
__________________________________

•no im not dead.

•my writing skills are eating dog poopo tho, i hope someone acually enjoys this