Undercare|| Fyozai

•Chapter fourteen

They still ended up on the livingroom floor, under heavy blankets with hot —too hot for Dazai's liking— organic cafee in their hands. Fyodor has an hause phone at his side, an dictinary and map at the cafee table infront of them.

Dazai feels empty, mostly defeated and Fyodor's happiness and cheerfullness just makes Dazai feel worse. They sat in here before tons of times, reading, just talking or making out for hours. Now it just feels empty, heavy. Fyodor in the other hand couldnt feel the victory that he was showing to outside. And the reasen was simple; there was no victory. But Dazai —for the first time— too dummed to notice. It was okey, Fyodor was always there to comfort him and bring him back to himself.

Optian A, Dazai and Fyodor find the book and after Dazai gets what he wants Fyodor watchs his 'Eve' leave him.

Option B, Fyodor finds the book alone and uses it to make the world equal while also (forcing)keeping Dazai to himself.

Option C, Dazai runs out of patient in the process of searching for the book and fucking abonden him and runs back to Japan.

Very very good options, Fyodor shall think about these.

In the end it was all about the time. Even if Fyodor doesnt helps Dazai, it will only make the process of Dazai going back to Japan for his dead friend will get faster. So Fyodor can only pray like any other man.

"So thats your plan?" Dazai questioned with an raised eyebrow and a judging look like an old lady. "You are saying that the book is here, in Russia and you will push me to the book but im not allowed to know where it is."

Fyodor hums softly, running his fingers trough the pages of the old book infront of him.

"That doesnt makes sense at all." Dazai yells out, frustraited and out of patient. Only if that dumb clown didnt catch me, i would be out of here with Ango. No. Dont think about that traitor. He isnt trustble. Then who is? There is no one other then the man who killed his bestfriend to trust, trust him for pulling him back to his home and away from this mind games.

"I belive that your the only one that can communicate with the book, all i need is your free will to do so, Dazai." Fyodor says, almost despreadly as his hands slide off the old crusty book pages to the warmness of Dazai's own hands, wrapping his hands around Dazai's as he pulls them closer and pulls himself closer to Dazai. Presses an kiss to the back of his right hand, keeping his face burried there for a moment to breath. Dazai just sighs, annoyedly but softly.

"What do you mean communicate?" Fyodor's kisses start there, at the back of his hand to highier to his wrists.

"Book is a thing. An object, an idea and does not has an pyscihall form. But the Book is still social and almost human." Fyodor wispears, his lips giving useless kissed to the surfice of Dazai's bandrges at his form arm, while one of his hands keep holding Dazai's, the other is treathining and begging to slide under Dazai's second skin and rip off the bandages under the kisses.

"More human then me?"

"Maybe. We can only find out by talking to it." It makes Dazai chuckle. Its so dumb that its funny. And its so funny how much Fyodor knows him in such an small period of time.

Wait. Wait, waittttt. Small period of time? When the sky is always so bright by the reflection of the snow and there is no clocks of date's in the apartment, its impossiblr to keep track for so long.

Dazai lost it after two months and 3 days.

"How long it has been since im staying here?"

"531 days." Fyodor's middle finger slides between Dazai's skin and his bandages, he tugs the end and softly pulls. The bandrges some of beautifully off the scared skin so now Fyodor starts to press his kisses to the scars and the skin under them.

"There is no way." Dazai is isnt suprised. He is dumbfounded. The number is too high to make sense or there is any reasen for Fyodor to be lying too. Or the kisses makes his brain funny?

"Time passes fast next to person you love." Fyodor smirks agaisnt Dazai's arm. Slowly sliding off his coat as Dazai rolls his eyes at his cheesy lines but the coat still falls on the ground. And Fyodor's kissed move highier on his arm as Dazai's shirts bottoms come undone and fall on the floor next to the coat.

Fyodor wraps his thin arms around Dazai's waist and pulls him closer as he also moves closer to him, pulling Dazai on his lap as his fingers play and tug at his bandeges witout any premission. Fyodor saw him all unbandeged witout his second skin when they first had sex. Then saw him naked hundreds of more times after that. But Odasaku would always ask for Dazai's premission.

Before Dazai relizes it his all bandeges on his upper body is gone, half naked to the air and the preditor infront of him. Fyodor nuzzles his face to Dazai's cheek, pressing open mouted kisses all over his right cheek as his hands rest on his waist.

Dazai slowly runs his hands up to Fyodor's shoulder then down at the end of his sweater to pull it off, the sweather following the shirt along to the way to ground. Now both of then equally half naked, Fyodor goes lower and nuzzles his face at the crook of Dazai's neck. His breathinh is warm agaisnt his skin as his arms wrap around him protectively.

Its suprising how there is absoulutely no sexual tention between them this time. Dazai describes possion as hate. Hate is the most passisionat emotion and hate is passion.

Sometimes for himself, the hate he feels to sell his body or the way his body is, needing to get his brains fucked out or he will blow his brains out by thinking so much. Or sometimes its agaisnt another, when you feel as if you want to rip someones head off that you start to act passionat.

But there was none of that now. Everything just felt warm. Not hot. But warm. Fyodor holds him so close that he feels as if they are becoming one with the heat, as if he is melting in to the other and holding together. Fyodor holds him so firmly that the feels as if he is acually an thing that is precious enough to be loved and protected.

"Dont leave me." The voice so close to his vocals that Dazai almost belived he said those words and not Fyodor. "Please..." Dazai runs his hand on Fyodor's arm, up and down. His tumb feeling and examing the word 'God' craved on the skin of his forearm. "I dont wanna be alone anymore."

End of chapter.
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•I love them so much.

•I won the right to go to the school i want but im not aloved to. This sucks.(about my exam)

•this is acually kind of an extra chapter for fluff and a little information. I feel like im consteadly dropping information bombs on yall and it may get tiring and boring so there you all go for a little fluff.

•btw i wrote this chapter today becouse someone was really sweet and supportive and i couldnt help my dummy self :D