Trust Issues | Hwang Hyunjin

Seventeen

stan seventeen

Kim Haewon

He pulled out and flopped down next to me. The room was quiet, apart from our heavy breathing. 

"Are you okay?" he asked quietly, after a few seconds.

Shit. I just hooked up with the man who I swore I wouldn't let in again. I swore not to fall for again. I didn't tell him to stop, I encouraged him. 

I really messed up.

"No," I said. He turned to me, but before he could say anything, I sat up and slipped out of the bed. I picked up my underwear and slipped it on.

"I hate you," I whispered, feeling tears coming. I hadn't cried in four years, there is no way Hyunjin would be the first to see me cry. I angrily blinked them away, but they wouldn't stop.

"I fucking hate you." I muttered again, grabbed my trousers and pulling them up. "So much." 

I ignored the pain in between my legs, pulled my t-shirt over my head, and walked out the room, shutting the door behind me. I grabbed my phone from the table and slipped my shoes on.

I didn't know whether I was talking to him, or to myself. I hated both. I hated myself for not saying no, for allowing him to fuck me, for falling for him again. I hated him for being here, for being perfect, too perfect to resist. I hated him for betraying me all those years ago.

I went over to the front door, and swung it open, only to be met with someone else. The boy frowned.

"and who...are you?" he asked. I looked at him, then at the keys in his hand.

Jeongin.

I ignored him and brushed past him, out the door and onto the drive.

"Wait!" he called. "How're you gonna get home? It's not safe."

"I'll be fine," I replied, taking my phone out. I had a bit of battery, but it wouldn't last long.

"Will you let me drop you home at least?" he asked, coming towards me. I hesitated. 

"Who are you?" I asked. If this was Jeongin, nothing would happen, right? 

"Yang Jeongin," he said with a smile. "and you?"

"Kim Haewon," i murmured. "are you sure you want to take me home?"

Agreeing to letting someone take me home was how I ended up there in the first place.

"Sure, just let me know where you live," he said, unlocking his car. I nodded and opened the door to the passenger seat. If he had noticed I had been crying seconds before, he gave no sign of it.

The drive was pretty much silent, apart from when I instructed him on where to go. He pulled up at my drive, and I thanked him.

"I hope we meet again," he said with a smile. I smiled back, but a voice at the back of my head echoed.

Meeting you again would mean seeing Hyunjin again.

Hwang Hyunjin's POV:

I watched as she got dressed, tears flying off her face.

"I fucking hate you," she muttered. "so much."

She then left, and I sighed, sitting up.

"I know," i murmured. 

I didn't stop her from leaving, because I knew that she regretted it. Nothing i could say to her would change anything, at least not now. she hadn't told me to stop, but she wished she did.