Trust Issues | Hwang Hyunjin

Twenty

He took a deep breath, his gaze not leaving mine.

"i swear i didn't know she would be here," he said. i waited for him to continue. "and i didn't think she'd say those things. to you."

"i know, hyunjin," i replied. he nodded.

"and i understand, if you don't want to talk to me, but i just need you to know that i am so sorry," he said. "not just for the other night, for everything. years ago. everything." 

i stared at him for a second, only just realising how close we were. too close. 

"i..." i didn't know what to say. "i know hyunjin. i'm sorry for running out the other night." i could tell he was about to interrupt, so i kept going. "i just need...time." 

he opened his mouth, as if about to protest, but then he closed it and nodded.

"i mean...yeah, sure, great," he sounded...upset. what did he expect? did he want me to run into his open arms? "I uhm..."

"well...i'm late," i murmured awkwardly. he nodded, and turned around.

"bye."

i don't think he was satisfied with the outcome of that conversation.

-

"so...will you forgive him?" minji asked.

"i don't know." I murmured. "does he think...if i forgive him, we'll date again? or does he know we'll just remain as friendly colleagues."

"he's not stupid," minji said. "and i know he did some shitty things in the past, and i'm not saying you're overreacting, but i really think you can trust him."

"and if you're wrong?" 

"then kill me," she said simply. i rolled my eyes and buried my head in my arms and groaned.

"i hate this!" i yelled. "why does he have to be here? why do i still love him? Why does he still love me? why can't we just be strangers?" 

"if you love each other...then..." 

"that isnt helping," i mumbled. she gave a small laugh. "I dont know what to do, Minj."

"as you said to him, you need time," she said simply. "time will tell."

"hm," i sat up and changed the subject. "how did your date go?"

"he was really cute," she shrugged. "we're going on a second one tonight, he's picking me up, so you can meet him."

"Lucky you," i muttered. "what's his name?"

"Yang Jeongin."

i stared at her. Yang Jeongin like...Hyunjin's roommate?" No, right? There were probably hundreds of yang jeongin's.

"Hae?"

"sorry, it's just that hyunjin's roommate is called yang jeongin, but it's probably a different one." 

she hummed and took out her phone.

"this him?" she showed me a picture.

"oh." i said. "yes." 

-

the doorbell rang and i ran to open the door. jeongin smiled as i opened it.

"we meet again," he grinned. i smiled and nodded.

"only this time you're taking my best friend out," i laughed. 

"basically," he laughed. "How've you been?" 

i shrugged and smiled. "Just...here and there. you?"

"not bad," he replied. "Your friend is really nice."

"well make sure not to take too long," i said with a grin. he nodded and i turned to the house and yelled:

"Minji, hurry up, jeongin's here!" 

"coming!"

i turned back to jeongin. 

"she's coming."

"no worries," he said. "i uhm, have you seen hyunjin lately?" 

why would you ask me that?

"well yeah, we work together," i shrugged. "why?"

"I don't know, he just seemed, upset, these past few days, and i wondered if it had anything to do with you," he finished. "obviously it's none of my business...i know you guys have history or-"

"No, it's fine," i said. "hyunjin's a great guy but, i need time, you know?"

"yeah, totally," he murmured. thankfully Minji burst through the door to save me from this awkward situation. 

"see you haewon!" she called as her and jeongin walked down the drive. i smiled at the pair and shut the door.

"he just seemed, upset, these past few days."

was that cause of when i ran out the other night? was it cos of my silent treatment towards him?

I need to make my decision.

-

Hwang Hyunjin's POV:

"Where've you been? i asked as jeongin walked through the house, a huge smile on his face.

"a date," he replied, taking out a glass. 

"oh, with who?" 

"you might know her," jeongin said as he poured in the water. "You know Haewon-"

"you went on a date with haewon?" i asked, trying to keep my voice calm. There was no way.

"let me finish," jeongin rolled his eyes. "haewon's best friend, Minji."

"Oh," i felt a rush of relief inside me. "was it good?" 

"yes," he replied. "that's all you're getting."

I grinned and rolled my eyes. "alright, alright," i murmured. "are you going to take things further, or is it just dating for now?"

"two more dates," he replied. "then if they go well...i'll see."

"well, don't wait too long," i murmured, then added silently, and don't do what i did.

"so...i saw haewon," he said suddenly. i bit my lip.

"Oh," i replied, trying to make my voice sound casual.

"yeah, she uh..." he didn't continue. 

"she what?"

"she seemed sad," he finished lamely.  i shook my head. nothing new there.

"she's looked sad since the other night, you know..." i didn't finish.

"Oh," he murmured. there was a few seconds of silence, then i spoke again.

"do you think she'll forgive me?"

 who was i kidding, of course she wouldn't. it's been four years and she hates me, i'm to blame for that, then i come back, things are okay, then we sleep together, things are bad. then Jiyeon decides to show up and demand where i've been, and why i blocked her after we slept together years ago. 

why ask me that?

"i don't know," jeongin murmured. "she said you were a good guy, but i don't think she was convinced." 

"well that's great," i muttered, making my way to my phone. "gotta do something." 

i ran to my bedroom and unlocked my phone. if haewon didn't want anything to do with me, nothing to do with me she would have. 

i scrolled on to my contacts and hit the call button. it rang for exactly three seconds, then someone answered.

"Hyunjin?" the voice said. "this is late for a call."

"hey, Chan," i said. "yeah, sorry about that, can i talk to you for a second?"