CLASP - [H.B] BOOK 1

{ 10 }

{{TRIGGER WARNING-DONT READ IF UR SENSITIVE}}

Its the middle of the night- I cant see anything cause I don't leave any lights on when I go to sleep. But I just woke up to extreme stinging in my arms.

I felt breathing on my face; I already knew who that was.

"WHAT TH-"

His cold hand covered my mouth, most likely so my dad couldn't hear from the other room.

It's Patrick. I don't know what he's done to me but my arms sting like fuck and his hands are freezing.

I reached my arm out to turn my lamp on, When it goes on i saw Patrick was holding a razor blade in his other hand and... he's fucking sliced my arm up?!? I cant shout or talk because it just sounds like muffles and his grip is too strong for me to squirm away.

I've known Patrick was crazy since I met him but oh my breaking into my house, cutting my arms and god knows what he's planning on doing to me next.

"shhhh this doesn't have to end badly.."

Patrick whispered in my ear. he lets my mouth go, I cant scream on my dad because he'll blame it on me and not Patrick. I'd get grounded a lifetime.

Pat started licking the blood off that was dripping down my arms, freaky much. I said I wanted an intense life. this isn't what I meant.

Me; Being insanely tired was trying hard not to fall asleep cause I was scared he was going to murder me. But I did fall asleep. And i'm kinda glad I didn't have to watch what Pat was doing to me.

Luckily my dad hasn't came in my room to wake me up, I actually woke up to my alarm. my arms are covered in dried up blood. I went into the bathroom to wash them.

It hurts so bad. And I have to get a shower later so that sucks. Just watching the water turn red from the blood made me feel weak at the knees.

I look in the mirror as I go to brush my hair and notice I have dark hickeys down my neck, and when I look there's multiple down my chest. I need to stay away from him, and shut my windows at night.

I still have school so I cant be too much in shock. And the Bowers Gang are coming to pick me up. with Patrick. I need to cover my arms and neck for the next few weeks because of him. like when I was depressed back in winter, my wrists looked like barcodes back then.

I finish brushing my teeth and washing my face, now I have to choose what to wear. dark green turtle neck and flare leggings, thats good enough. I'm deciding to put my seashell earrings in because I don't want to have repierce my ears.

I go down for breakfast, my dad made me a bowl of my favourite cereal.

"Looking good, i heard talking last night, did you have a bad dream?"

Said dad, he surprisingly wasn't drinking this morning, thats a first.

"Yeah uh- i just had a nightmare."

I replied, he's not suspicious? oh well.

Once I finish my breakfast I still have about half an hour until Belch comes to pick me up. Dad kept everything of my Mother's after she passed so I dug out her makeup and attempted at covering up my cuts and love bites.

I was able to make the hickeys basically invisible but the scars on my arms were still easy too see. I put my turtleneck back on and put mom's makeup away again.

I hear the car outside and get my shoes on. I'm not really looking forward to today. I am just having one of those days where you want to sit in bed and do nothing but sleep. That's normally everyday for me.

My dad hugs me goodbye and I walk out to the car, I get to sit in the passenger seat again. I could just feel Patrick's stare on me. I'm trying to act like I didn't know what happened last night. But he knows fine well he's the reason I'm wearing this turtleneck. And he's proud of it, I just know he is.

I've got a double period class with victor today and there isnt any seating plan so, That's fun. And a free period so im probably going to spend that in the bathroom smoking and drinking the can of koppaberg I stole off of dad. I could use that after the sick memory of last night. I don't even know half the things he did to me and im still horrified.

What if he does it again, even worse? whatever. I need to just stop thinking so much. We got to the school and went our separate ways. I bumped into 5 of the boys is saw yesterday, 'The losers'.

I talked to them until I had to go to class. A lot of people were whispering and looking at me, I don't know why. Maybe because im new? Or do I have something in my hair? I thought it was something along those lines until I heard Patrick's name with the whispers.

That prick. He probably raped me and now he had the fucking audacity to tell everyone? And probably not even the whole story. I bet any money he made it out like I started on him. 

So school isn't going to be better after all. It's all going to go to shit, And i'm likely going to lose my 'friendship' or whatever it is I have with the losers and Bowers gang's also gonna ditch me and I'll end up like a loner again. 

The world DESPISES me.

Im rotting in embarrassment in this classroom right now. I've got my head in my arms, I feel a bit better when the teacher tells everyone to quit whispering but I know it's going to spread across the whole school and maybe even town.

That's alright. I'll just move again. No, my dad's got a job. he wont let us move anywhere..

{{ hi sorry if this chapter is SHIT im so tired cause i've been out all day but I tried to make this interesting, and this is a bit longer chapter. i'm writing one in the morning I think but im going to send a link to part of a song I think Patrick wld sing. }}. 1.28 - 1.44 -- times