Lost in madness

12

Sally

I sat at the kitchen table, staring down at my plate of untouched food. The chair across eerily empty, just like the side of the bed I had woken up to this morning. It wasn't the first time he stayed out, but it still stung every time. I can't tell what he's thinking. Does he even want this marriage to work?

I sighed and picked my her fork, pushing the food around aimlessly. What was the point of making all these breakfasts if he's not even going to show up to eat them? So much for being a dutiful housewife.

Just when I thought—

I heard the sound of keys and the front door opening, my heart skipped a beat as I waited for him to walk into the room, he appeared looking tired and slightly disheveled.

"Hey?"

"Hey." I tried to hide the hurt in my eyes as he walked towards me. He leaned over and gently brushed my forehead with his fingers, a gesture that used to make my heart flutter. Now, it just felt like a cold, guilty comfort.

Without another word, he turned to head in but then hesitated. "Actually, could you fix me a plate?" he asked quietly.

I nodded, a little insulted but grateful for the chance to eat with him, there was a lot we had to talk about and I wasn't going to keep quiet.

As I got up to fix him another plate, he took off his tie and loosened his sleeves before settling down at the table to wait for the food. I fix him a plate and set it in front of him,

"Thanks, babe."

I took my chair from across from him, "So how's work? Any improvements?"

He took a bite of his toast before responding with a nod, "We finally got Derek Killeen to join our team of investors and so far Father is pleased. I say that's a lot of progress in a week."

"As long as it gets you home on time." I let that slip.

He stops eating to look at me with a pause,

"Do I sense sarcasm?"

"No, but sarcasm shouldn't be the only thing you are sensing right now."

He let a throbbing chuckle,

"What's with the attitude?"

"'The attitude' I haven't seen my husband in what, two days, and when he does come home his first words were 'Fix me a plate', what happened to hello, how have you been? Or I'm sorry for leaving you all alone in our home? Anything but what you said? I'm not your slave, Andy, I'm your wife and I demand some respect."

I stopped talking abruptly and let all that pent-up tension hang in the air,

"I want a family, children, a husband that comes home every night and pays attention to details, I bet you didn't even notice, I dyed my hair."

He nods when he notices,

"It's pretty." He smiled.

I huff in frustration, is he deliberately trying to frustrate me?

"I know getting married wasn't something we talked about until our parents suggested it, I went along with it because I love you, I don't know why you did but I like to believe that you care about me enough to know this is a lifetime commitment and quitting is not an option where we come from, so please do not let me walk this journey alone."

"I'm sorry." He whispered.

I let out a sigh, I can't pretend to be bad at him.

"I know how hard you work and I'm grateful for the comfort you've given me, all I ask is you to make time for me."

He cleared his throat slightly and using a napkin he cleaned the corners of his mouth,

"I have a surprise for you."

He reached for his suit on the empty chair beside him and then dipping his hand into its pocket, he pulled out something and shifted it to me,

I picked it up to take a look and gasped abruptly, it was a 5-day VVIP honeymoon resort ticket in Maldives.

"I thought that would be good for us."

I was too speechless to speak, to think a little gesture like this was enough to shut me up,

"If you don't like Maldives, we could-"

"No, I love it...it's a good start."

He nodded,

"You are right, I haven't been the best husband. But I want to do better, be better... From now on, let's try and have a good life together."

I felt guilty.

"You're not a bad husband, Andy. It's just I would rather you deliver those flowers in person and also I would love to see your face when I wake up."

He nodded in acknowledgment,

"Thank you." Suddenly everything was good in the world again, my world at least. I'm glad we had the time to talk it out. I thought as I smiled down at the tickets, I should post this on insta and brag a little. At that moment, I felt a glimmer of hope that things might just be okay after all.

"I'm going to take a shower.." He walks over and graces my forehead before turning to leave—

"Can I say something else?"

"Sure."

"I don't hold it against you, neither of you."

He narrows his brows at me,

"What are you talking about?"

I wanted him to know that I was okay with what happened in the past and he didn't have to walk around shells with me,

"I know you slept with Dabe."

His face turned pale almost instantly, if I was looking for confirmation that would be it, I did have my doubts but not anymore.

"Relax, I'm not upset...I mean it is unsettling to think about, but yet again it happened almost 15 years ago, I can't hold that against you, we were kids and as kids, we did stupid things to look cool, so you don't have to feel guilty, neither of you. I was going to bring it up to Dabe but the cute thing, she looked like she was about to pass out when I brought it up, so I feigned ignorance. I'm telling you because you are my husband and I don't want you to feel like you are holding this huge secret from me, that guilt alone is enough to ruin our marriage. So I'm telling you that I don't care what you did in your past, especially something that happened a decade ago unless I'm wrong and it's still happening and then we have a big problem, is it still happening, Andy?" That came more threatful than I anticipated, I mean the thought__ I can't even imagine such betrayal.

"No, of course not." He seemed upset by my insinuation, I literally just asked him if he was having an affair with my cousin.

"Good, water under the bridge, let's keep it that way then and leave the past in the past. I want to look forward to our future." This time I reach over and grace his lips, the little forehead thing is his thing. He doesn't react; he just turns and walks away.