Lost in madness

Chapter 34

Andrew

I sat at the table, surrounded by strangers, chatter and laughter that made no sense. This whole gathering felt impractical - I was surrounded by people I'd barely recognize on the street.

Despite this fact, my eyes kept darting to the doorway, waiting for Dabe to walk in. I hadn't seen her since yesterday, and anxiety was eating away at me.

Sally's voice cut through my thoughts, sharp and pointed. "Honey, are you expecting someone else to join us?"

I realized too late that everyone at the table had fallen silent, all eyes on me. I forced a smile, shaking my head. "No, of course not. Just... enjoying this delicious meal."

The excuse sounded weak even to my ears. I stood abruptly, my chair scraping against the floor. "Excuse me, I need to make a call."

I could feel everyone's eyes burning into my back as I left the room. My feet carried me swiftly down the hall to Dabe's room. I knocked once, then twice, before letting myself in.

"Dabe?" I called out, my voice echoing in the empty space. I took in the neatly made bed, and the open closet devoid of her clothes.

She was gone.

I felt a panic rise in my chest, I pulled out my phone, and dialing her number. No answer. I tried again. And again.

"What the hell happened?"

On the sixth attempt, I heard footsteps behind me.

"She's gone," Sally's voice, cold and sharp, cut through the air.

"What?"

"I was wondering when we were going to have this conversation. I assumed it would be sometime in our marriage, but I never predicted it would be this soon. And I certainly never imagined it would be my cousin. At least show me some respect."

I whirled around, not even bothering to deny it. "What did you say to her?"

She scoffed. "That's what you're worried about? What about me, my feelings? Do I even matter to you?"

"Of course you do... Sally, I'm sorry... for dragging you into this."

"That's all you're sorry for?"

Sally's face was a mask of indifference.

"Where is she, Sally?" I pleaded.

"I asked her to disappear."

"What?" I felt my world tilting on its axis. "Why would you do that?"

"You're really starting to piss me off, Andy." Her voice turned feral. "I just found out that my cousin was screwing my husband. I should be furious. At least show me some respect as your wife."

We both paused to breathe.

"You were using her to relieve all the stress with your father. You were never going to truly be with her. You knew that - that's why you married me. She understands that now."

The words hit me like a physical blow. I moved towards the door, intent on going after Dabe, but Sally's next words stopped me in my tracks.

"If you go after her, I'll destroy you for everything you've taken from me."

I turned back to face her, disbelief and anger warring inside me. "You'll destroy me? What the hell are you talking about?"

"You've ruined both our lives. You don't get to just walk away from the mess you made." Sally spat, her composure finally cracking. "If you love her so much, why did you marry me?"

The question hung in the air between us, heavy with unspoken truths.

I ran a hand through my hair, frustration evident in every line of my body.

"You married me, made me fall completely in love with you and now I find out that it is all a lie. Why did you marry me?"

"C'mon, let's not pretend you don't know why I agreed to this marriage. This has always been a marriage of convenience for both our families. You know it, and so do I. So quit the act, it's getting old."

Sally's eyes flashed dangerously. "What stupid convenience? I married you because I love you. I fell in love with the man you were to me." Her voice rose, filled with a mixture of anger and desperation. "I don't care what you think of our marriage now. Nothing can change the fact that we're married. I just lost our unborn child, and now I'm going to lose my marriage too."

She stepped closer, her face inches from mine. "So, we are going to go back in there and smile at our guests like our marriage is made in Eden, even if it kills you. Or so help me God, I'll destroy both of you."

I stared at her, truly seeing her for perhaps the first time. The distress in her eyes, the fierce determination... it was like looking at a stranger.

"Sally," I began, my voice softening,

"Save it," she cut me off. "I don't want your apologies or explanations. I want my husband back. I want the life you promised me. That's all I want."

I felt the weight of our shared history, of the expectations placed upon us, settling on my shoulders. "And what about what I want?" I asked quietly.

Sally's laugh was bitter. "What do you want? You gave up the right to what you want when you said 'I do'. When you made promises to me, to our families, to our future."

She was right, I realized with a sinking feeling. I had made those promises. I had chosen this path. But the thought of never seeing Dabe again, of letting her walk out of my life completely...

"I can't live without her," I whispered, more to myself than to Sally.

"You've got some nerve. You can, and you will," Sally replied, her voice hard. "Unless you want to lose everything - your position, your family's respect, your future. Everything you've worked so hard for. Is she worth all that, Andy?"

The question hung in the air between us. The rational part of my mind knew the answer.

"I need to know she's okay," I said finally, a compromise of sorts.

Sally's eyes narrowed. "She's fine. She's doing what's best for everyone involved. Now it's your turn to do the same."

I closed my eyes for a moment. When I opened them again, I saw Sally extending her hand to me, a mixture of hope and fear in her expression.

"You leave her alone," I said finally, the words tasting like ash in my mouth.

She nods and puts on a smile. "Let's get back to our guests."

As we made our way back to the dining room, Sally's hand firmly clasped in mine, I couldn't shake the feeling that I was making the biggest mistake of my life. But what choice did I have? This was the path I'd chosen, the bed I'd made.

Still, as we rejoined the breakfast table, all smiles and polite conversation, my mind kept drifting. I didn't want to be here.

The chatter of our guests washed over me, but I barely heard a word. My body was here, playing the part of the devoted husband, but my heart... my heart was racing down highways and back roads, searching for Dabe.

As Sally squeezed my hand, her smile never wavering, I realized with a sinking feeling that this was the life I chose over serenity. A perfect façade, hiding a crumbling foundation. I couldn't see it all before because I had made a sanctuary with Dabe over the years. Being with her felt like heaven, and now, this hell is my reality. "Guys, let's all take a photo together." Sally cut in and everyone gathered around us to take a photo. Behind the plastered smile, the weight of it all threatened to crush me.