Lost in madness

Chapter 13

Dabe

The clock strikes 2:00 and I wake up with a start, reaching for my phone instinctively. Each night, like clockwork, I go through the same routine - checking for missed calls or messages, this man has managed to dig his way back into my subconscious mind. I have no idea what I'm doing anymore, I wanted him to stop calling and I asked him to leave me alone but it's barely two days since I last heard from him and I'm almost going crazy.

In the dimly lit room, the glow of the phone illuminates my anxious face as I stare at the screen.

Time seemed to stand still as I sat on the edge of my bed, hoping against hope that he would call. But the phone remained silent as if taunting me, the only sound in the room the soft hum of the air conditioning.

The minutes tick by agonizingly slow, each second feeling like an eternity. Maybe it's the service, I thought.

I texted my sister and when she called back immediately, I realized my phone was fine, I was the problem, fawning over a married man in the middle of the night is the lowest I have come.

As time went by, I began to realize that the past midnight calls and the little flirt messages were a thing of the past. He's moved on, and I should too.

With a sigh, I set my phone back on the nightstand and laid back down, closing my eyes and drifting off to sleep because I had a flight to catch the next day, I was finally getting out of here.

As the first rays of dawn begin to filter through the window, I quickly reach for my phone but nothing, no notification. I slowly started to let go of the past and embrace the reality of the present.

I went on with my day and focused on finishing my thesis, at least that gave me time to focus on my future,

I took a short break and began strolling through insta,

I stop a new post from Sally,

It was a vacation video of Sally relaxing at a villa with a cocktail,

I didn't know they were on Vacation, normally, Sally would be the first one to text me. What's going on?

I pressed the like button and took a tour on her page, I stumbled on a picture of them kissing. god, I quickly turned off my screen, I don't care, I shouldn't care, it's none of my business.

It suddenly felt very stuffy, I should get some air.

Just as I got ready to step out of the hotel, I got a text from James asking to meet up, I agreed and we met in front of a park near the hotel. "I like what you have on." he pointed out my attire, I had on a traditional two-piece jumpsuit, back in the US I always used to receive compliments for it, "Especially, the carefully laid patterns, it's truly beautiful... like the owner of course."

"Thank you." I beam, and we continue talking as we walk through the busy streets of Abuja, it's almost like New York, Just a little less cluttered.

"So what do you do for work?" He asks,

"Um, right now I'm a senior visual designer at Joogle, it's not very impressive but in the meantime, the pay is really good, which is great because I'm saving up for my Ph.D in a few years. . .." Hopefully, he doesn't ask about my love life, "That's pretty much it... What about you?" I quickly divert the subject from me.

"First, that's very impressive, you're brilliant. Me, I took the three things I love, traveling, photography, and blogging, and turned them into a career." The way his eyes lit up showed how devoted he was.

"Sounds like you're living the dream."

"I wouldn't say that...but I do love what I do. I find relief in it, which is better than most." Spoken like a true trust fund baby.

I let out a small laugh,

"What?"

"Nothing, it's just I've known Andrew for years and he's never been one to cultivate a habit, not that he ever needs to, life is a lot  easier when you can afford everything you want."

"Between the both of us, Andrew has it the hardest."

"Why do you say that?"

"He's never got to live on his terms, that's not living. He's spent his whole life trying to impress our father, you know how our father is."

"I know he isn't a fountain of joy. No offense."

"None taken, he wasn't always like that you know, believe it or not, there was a time, when you could honestly say he was a good man..... My mother was the love of his life and after she left him to marry someone else it completely destroyed him and made him into the prickly man he is today. He blames everyone, and not the fact that he knocked up an English woman and bore a son."

"Andrew?" I ask reluctantly.

He nods,

"Don't tell him I said that, or he would have both our heads."

I let a small laugh and contemplated his words while watching people carry on with their day, "That's cute." he points at a little kid trying to tie in his laces and falling miserably.

We both smile when he finally succeeds.

"How long are you planning on staying in Abuja?" he asked.

"I leave in a few hours."

"So soon, what's chasing you?"

"Life and bills... two things you never have to worry about, rich boy." I said with a tease and he laughed shortly, "When are you leaving?"

"Unfortunately, I have to wait for the newlyweds to return."

I swallow hard with a nod.

"So is Andy the reason why you won't go out with me?" He let out almost instantly, having my eyes snapping at him. "Between us brothers, Andy has always been the intentional one, always got straight As, never got into any trouble, never broke out of character, even to his own detriment, not sure whether it is because he thinks to get through our father you can't show weakness. No matter how hard it gets, he wouldn't express any emotion at all but the moment I mentioned your name, he broke character and I almost lost a tooth." He chuckled at the last part, I turned to look away embarrassed, "Care to explain?"

"It's complicated," I muttered

"You're not denying it. That's a bold move."

"I'm too tired to explain. ..Just know it's over, we just talk now and that's it."

"It's never just talking, is it? We talk, this us talking, it can't be the same."

He was right, Andrew and I were simply fooling ourselves, there's no way we can remain friends after everything that's happened between us, "I'm sure, you already know this but I feel like I should mention it, he's never going to leave her, he says he would because he feels guilty, but he's never going to do it. He's my younger brother and I've known him my whole life. One thing Andy hates more than himself is being our father, which is ironic because he's every bit of him." I don't know why his words took me by surprise, I would never ask him to leave Sally for me but yet it felt heartbreaking to hear that if given a chance he would choose her again.

James and I talked for a bit more, then I had to rush back to the hotel to gather my things for the airport, I gathered everything and hushed the little voices in my head telling me I forgot something, I did a final check before rushing out the door to catch my Uber.

I first made it to the reception to return the room card before making my out of the lobby, I barely even made it out of the steps when I caught sight of someone familiar,

"Luke?"

"Good day, Ms. Peter." He quickly reached for my bags and I let him out of habit, "I've been asked to escort you to the airport by Mr. Williams." I don't say anything and just follow him to the car, hopefully, this would be his last piece of service to me.