Lost in madness

Chapter 18

Dabe

As sunrises, I open my eyes and gaze up into the face of the man I love, there is no dying it anymore, I love him, and I'm not sure I can ever stop.

He stares back, his expression soft and tender, almost like he's in denial.

He strokes his nose against mine and then plants a gentle kiss on my lips with a smile,

"I've missed this, you like this." he breathes.

"Me too," I whisper.

He takes hold of my chin and kisses me harder. A passionate, beseeching kiss, asking for what? I don't know. It leaves me breathless, again.

"Don't ever disappear on me again," he pleads, looking deep into my eyes, his face serious.

I nodded out of breath, and then we stared back at each other in silence, lifting my arm, I traced my finger on his nose.

"Do you have any plans?" He asked.

"I was supposed to go house hunting today.."

"Why? What's wrong with your current place?" He asked.

"Chima is great and all but I think she needs some space, plus it's about time I get my own place, don't you think?"

"I wanna help."

I scramble out of bed butt naked to pull on some clothes.

Andrew leans back on the bed and gazes at me, puzzled. Feeling proprietary, I reach for a robe and wrap it around myself.

"Stay here, you can take a break from work and focus on doing what you want for a change. I'll take care of the rest."

I look around as he utters the words utterly dumbfounded, we are in a skyline apartment, I would sell an arm and a leg to afford a place like this for just a week, "I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that. I'm starving, you hungry?"

He gazes at me for a beat and decides not to argue. "No, but I have to make a few calls. Make yourself at home."

"Okay." I turn on my heel and head out to the kitchen, leaving him watching after me. I didn't want to have that conversation, not now.

Andrew freshens up a bit before finding me on the couch with a bowl of cereal. He settled down beside me his long legs stretched out in front of him. He's wearing his jeans and his shirt with his just-fucked hair, and that's all.

I sit cross-legged beside him, eating greedily, beyond hungry, and admiring his naked feet.

"You're upset?" he whispered warily as he watched me.

"Am I?"

"I only want to take care of you." His luminous eyes glow with some unnamed emotion.

My heart rate spikes.

"I've noticed," I whisper. "And.... I'm not mad, I think it's kind of sweet that you want to spoil me. But I need you to respect that I don't need any more special favors, that's not why I'm with you."

"I'm just trying to help." His expression alters, wary once more.

"I know, and if I do need help, I'd be sure to ask."

His brow creases and he runs a hand through his hair. "You are one frustrating female, you know."

"Yeah, I'm still mad at you for paying off my student loan without asking, so quit testing me. Or I'm gonna be really really mad." Threaten him playfully.

He smiles. "I know but you being mad, baby, wouldn't stop me. Besides, I'm not asking you to move in with me, I have an empty house and I'd like you to stay in it. No one knows I bought this place from its previous owners, so you're safe."

"Why? Who's house was it?"

"My mother's." His words flew out of his lips so casually, not minding he threw a bomb at me, "I got it a few years back."

"Why?"

"It's stupid, I thought if I held onto it maybe one day, she would through those doors." He pointed.

"Did she?"

"No, and at some point, it didn't matter anymore, this place became an escape, every time I wanted to get some air, I came here and reminisced over what should have or shouldn't be. .."

"Sounds like your sanctuary."

"It is, that's why I suggested you stay here, where I know you'd be safe. I wasn't trying to control you or anything."

I grab my bowl to the sink, I didn't want to fight with him, not after all that.

Andrew made his way to the sink where I was and wrapped his arms around me,

I turned around to face him and chewing the inside of my cheeks, I took him in, "You're not thinking of backing out again, are you?"

He caught on quickly, I let out a sigh before taking him in again, "No, but I'm worried, scared even..."

"We're gonna be fine, I promise," he whispers in such a soothing tone that makes me want to believe him.

I press my forehead against him, inhaling and exhaling deeply, trying to get in as much of him as I can. "How are you not freaking out right now?"

"Because we're us," he replies, tipping my chin up with his forefinger so our eyes meet. "Because I love you, and I rather it all burn to shit, than let you go once again."

"Chima thinks I'm being naive," I admit, recalling the several conversations I had with Chima. "She said this is some phase, the thrill of an affair, all the hide and seek is what's keeping us together."

"Is that what you think this is? A game?"

"No, but honestly I'm afraid to find out...."

"Dabe..."

"I know, I'm sorry....it's exhausting going back and forth on the same topic, we agreed not to talk about the future just yet."

"Damn right."

"I'll stop talking now."

Lifting his hand, he caressed my cheek and ran his fingertips across my chin line. I close my eyes and exhale, leaning my face into his touch.

He leans down slowly, and my lips automatically lift and meet his.

Our phones ring simultaneously, pushing us apart, and back to reality, we reach out for our phones. I let out a scoff and he looked up at me, "It's Sally, she's inviting the girls and me for brunch tomorrow." I muttered and glanced at his phone.

"Work stuff," he said.

I nodded.

"Are you going to be okay?" He implored.

I shrugged.

"Think about what I asked. I'll make you a key when you are ready."

"Yes, sir."

He nods and a small mischievous smile appears on his lips.

I drape my arms around his neck, not waiting even a second before kissing him again. Somewhere along the line, he's gotten to me and I don't want this to end, whatever this is.

It's scary, all these things we are feeling and I know there's a chance this could all blow up in our faces, but I don't think we can fight it anymore.