dear hazel, | lewis hamilton

10

21st of June, 2022

Dear Hazel,

I thought that everything would finally be great again when you'd join Formula One.

But, oh, how wrong I was.

And while yes, it was a long journey for you to make it- things didn't go as expected.

during the 2015 winter break, hazel had received a call from toto wolff, inviting her to the mercedes' headquarters for a meeting.

the girl could've jumped til the moon and back because of how excited she was, talking lewis' ears off while she brainstormed why his team principal could've possibly called her.

it filled her with a sense of relief, knowing the past 4 years of work experience and working on her bachelor's degree have been a long process. but in the end, her efforts would pay off.

acting oblivious, lewis listened to her rant whilst she ran around the house, cleaning it- which was something she often did when stressed.

surely enough, the sole reason behind toto's meeting was to offer her a position as mercedes' performance engineer.

she was beyond ecstatic and she never found herself as excited as she was for a formula one season to begin.

to make it even better, she'd be with both lewis and nico at the same time, being able to have an impact and work on both their cars.

during the start of the 2016 season, the presence of the curly haired girl brought a lot of attention to the dominating team.

most of it wasn't very pleasant, with people claiming the only reason they assigned her was because she was married to lewis and worse things.

hazel knew all their words were false, she didn't work all that for people to be invalidating her accomplishments.

for the most part, she didn't let it get to her, knowing how undermining the media could be. until one interviewer in particular ticked her off.

"it's great to see you back in the paddock, this time not only as a partner but as an engineer in formula one's most dominating team." the interviewer begun, "though i can't help but ask the question that's on everyone's minds, wouldn't your position be conflict of interest for you?"

she shook her head, keeping a calm and steady composure, "i know very well the stakes of this sport and the last thing i'm going to do is mix business with pleasure. when it comes to my work, i'm as professional as one could be."

"how do you feel knowing you were able to get ahold of this job was all thanks to your husband?" the interviewer asked with a sinister smile on his face.

"i'm sorry?" she bit her tongue as she pretended to not hear his words.

"an inside source tells me toto wolff wouldn't have ever considered you if it weren't for lewis' constant nagging about it. weren't you aware?"

upon hearing this, she excused herself from the interview, having heard enough before making her way back to the mercedes' garage.

she pulled lewis from the conversation he was having with nico, dragging him into his driver's room and shutting the door behind them.

"is it true?" she asked, her chest heaving up and down as the rage brewed inside her.

"is what true?" he asked back, having no idea what she was talking about.

"that you were constantly nagging to toto to offer me a job here?"

it was as if a cat had caught his tongue, "well... i may have brought it up once or twice.."

by hearing the tone of his voice, she knew it was well over that many times. for some reason, it made her mad.

now she couldn't say that her success was solely her own efforts, and that the media were right; the only reason she had this job because her husband kept nagging his team principal about it.

it wasn't about her skills, it wasn't about her qualifications or attributes. it was about her husband, and the impact of his words.

"and what happened to 'i believe in you' and 'you could do it'?" she scoffed angrily.

"i did, and it payed off, didn't it?" lewis didn't see where the issue was, and that only bothered her even more.

"what payed off? my efforts or your whines to toto?" she bit back. "if you really did believe in me and my skills you wouldn't have begged him to let me in the team and let me achieve that on my own."

frankly, lewis had no idea what to say. he hadn't thought it about it that way, the only thing he cared about was having her back by his side. was it selfish? yes. but he thought she wanted that too.

"does it really matter that much, zel?" he questioned, "i thought all you wanted was to be with me and be able to do your job in the same time."

she huffed in annoyance, realizing he didn't understand her point, choosing to look at it from his perspective only.

"yes. but only if it was by my efforts, not yours." she told him, "i don't want my career's success to be tainted by you. it feels undeserved."

"i want when people remember me and the things i achieved, they'd remember hazel foster. not lewis hamilton's wife." her words felt like sharp knives aimed directly at his heart.

she didn't mean for the words to come as harsh as they did, but if that was the only way for him to grasp what this meant for her; then so be it.

"i love you, lewis." she cupped his cheeks, trying to make up for what she previously said, "but the only person writing the pages of my story should be me and me only."

"i'm sorry." he apologized, "the only thing i wanted was to have you by my side again. i didn't think about the rest.."

she sighed, "it's okay i guess."

she knew her best interests were in his heart, he just didn't do the best job at reciprocating them in real life.

the couple made up, acting as if nothing had ever happened, although the whole situation had painted a coat of tension between the pair over the duration of the season. they had to learn how to separate their work lives with their personal ones, now that they were both intertwined.

especially, as the stakes got higher in the mercedes' garage, the harder it was to ignore the heaviness of the air the surrounded them.

after lewis and nico's crash in spain, ultimately taking each other out, their friendship had never been more strained, with hazel being the only tie to knot them back to each other.

to make matters worse, after separating the engineers and mechanics working on each car, preventing from any of them knowing what features the other has, hazel was assigned to nico's car.

with more secrets to keep from her husband, spending more time with his 'best friend', the jealousy of favoritism stronger than ever. and it ticked lewis off, more than ever.

choosing to be the better person, lewis tried his best to ignore it. but it was a matter of when, not if, his ties would cut loose.

I think you joining Mercedes' was the best and worst thing to have ever happened to us.

But then again, if I had anyone to blame for that- it'd be me.

Until we meet again,

Love,
Lewis