dear hazel, | lewis hamilton

Goodbye, Hazel.

18th of July, 2028

Hazel,

It's been five long years since I last wrote to you. Five years of navigating the world without you, of trying to piece together a life that could somehow honor the love we had while finding a path forward.

So much has changed, and although you're not here to witness it, I feel the need to share it all with you. This letter is my way of keeping you close, of ensuring that the most significant moments of my life still reach you.

After losing you, I never thought I'd be able to open my heart to anyone else. The very idea of loving someone other than you felt like a betrayal, a wound too deep to even consider healing.

For a long time, I shut myself off, convinced I'd never find that kind of love again. But then again, life has a way of surprising us, even when we think we've seen it all.

Linda came into my life when I least expected it. She was a journalist covering Formula One, and we met during one of my last seasons. At first, it was just professional interactions - interviews, press conferences, the usual routine. But there was something about her, something gentle and understanding that drew me in. She seemed to sense the shadows in my heart, the lingering pain that I carried with me.

Our relationship wasn't easy at first. I resisted, feeling an overwhelming sense of guilt every time I felt a flicker of affection for her. It was as if loving someone else meant betraying you, and I couldn't deal with those emotions.

But Linda was patient, more patient than I ever deserved. She understood that my heart was still healing, that I was struggling to accept the possibility of happiness without you.

Linda never tried to replace you. She respected your memory, often asking about you, wanting to know the stories of our life together. She became a friend first, someone who was there to listen without judgement, to offer comfort without expectations.

Slowly, her kindness began to break through the walls I had built around my heart. It was a gradual process, one that required an immense patience and understanding on her part.

Over time, I began to realize that loving Linda didn't mean forgetting you. It didn't lessen the love we shared or the memories I hold dearly. Instead, it added a new source of happiness that I never thought I'd find again.

Linda and I have built something beautiful together, but it's different from what you and I had. It doesn't replace it- it coexists with it, an indication to the fact that the heart can hold more love than we often give it credit for.

In 2025, I achieved something that I never thought was possible. I won my eighth World Championship, breaking the records and leaving a legacy in the sport that we both loved so much.

It was a bittersweet victory. Crossing that finish line, I felt an overwhelming sense of triumph but also a pang of sorrow knowing you weren't there to share that moment with me. You were always my biggest supporter, my confidant, the person who believed in me even when I doubted myself. That victory was as much yours as it was mine.

After that season, I decided it was time to retire. Formula One had been in my life for so long, but without you by my side, it never felt complete. I wanted to close that chapter on a high note, knowing I had given it everything I had. Retirement brought its own challenges, but it also opened up new opportunities for growth and reflection.

The most incredible change in my life came with the birth of my daughter. Yes, Hazel, I have a little girl now, and I named her after you.

She has your eyes, the same sparkling hazel that captivated me from the moment we met. Every time I look at her, I see a piece of you, a reminder of the love that continues to shape my life.

Holding her in my arms for the first time was an indescribable feeling, a moment filled with so much love and emotion that I thought my heart might burst.

Our daughter, Hazel, is a joyful, curious little soul. She had a spirit that reminds me so much of you- brave, kind and full of life. Watching her grow has been both a joy and a touching reminder of all that you and I dreamed of but never got to experience together.

I see glimpses of you in her everyday, her laughter, in the way she scrunches up her nose when she's deep in thought, in her endless curiosity about the world around her.

Linda has been wonderful through all of this. She understands the unique place you hold in my heart and has embraced little Hazel with such grace and love. Our family is a patchwork of love and loss, of old memories and new beginnings.

It's not perfect, and there are still moments when the pain of losing you feels as raw as it did on that first day. But there is also healing, and a hope, and a future that I'm slowly learning to embrace.

I wish you could see our daughter. She has brought so much light into my life. There are times when I talk to her about you, sharing stories of our adventures, our love, and the incredible woman you were. She may be too young to understand now, but I want her to know who you were, to feel connected to you in some way.

As I reflect on these past years, I realize just how much my life has changed. The journey of grief and healing is never straightforward, and there are still days when it all feels too unbearable. But I also found strength in the love that remains, in memories that continue to shape who I am today. I've learned it's possible to find joy again, even in the shadows of loss, and that the heart has an incredible capacity for resilience.

Hazel, I miss you more than words can convey. There isn't a day that goes by without missing you, that I don't feel the void your absence had left in my life. But I also know you would want me to be happy and find love or a purpose even in your absence.

I haven't moved on from you- how could I? You were my first and deepest love, a part of my soul.

Writing this letter feels like a farewell, though I know it's not truly a goodbye. You will always be a part of me, a guiding star that lights my path. This letter is my way of acknowledging the past, of cherishing memories while looking forward to the future with hope and gratitude. I'm grateful for the love we shared, for the ways it has shaped me, and for the strength it has given me to move forward.

I will tell our daughter about you, ensuring your spirit lives in on in her heart, and mine.

Thank you for loving me, for believing in me, and for giving me the courage to face each day with hope.

I can't love you anymore.

Goodbye, Hazel.

-
aaah!! i'm so sad :((

i loved writing this book so much, experimenting with my writing style and trying new ways to expand my writing. i know this book is a lot different than my other ones but i thought i'd try something new. so i hope you guys enjoyed reading it as much as i enjoyed writing it!!

thank you for reading <3!!