kidnapped (ticcitobyxFEM!reader)

chapter 7

TW: self harm, use of the r-slur

i will use the symbols "*******" to indicate before and after it had been said.

'god this is so awkward, i don't know how long i can sit here for.' i bit the inner corner of my cheek, trying to distract myself from how impossibly long time is ticking. after he punched me, we walked back to his room. i'm guessing he would feel worse if he put me back in the basement. i'm not complaining.

"h-here, p-put this o-on y-your face" toby reached his shaky arm out to hand me a plastic bag filled with ice. i grabbed it then placed it tenderly on the red and swollen spot surrounding my right eye.

"thanks" i winced at the temperature change, the lumps on my face felt warmer than my normal skin because of the inflammation. "i should probably change the one on the back of my head"

"y-yeah, i-it's been a wh-while" he quietly added as if remembering the first spot he'd cause damage on, the black eye wasn't the only thing he's done to me.

we both sat on his bed, crossed legs, it felt like we were two kids at camp who got caught starting fights together. toby stared down at his fingers, picking at them consistently.

"don't feel bad, toby" i added, blinking up at him.

he stood quiet, the soft sounds of his nails scratching off its own skin was the only sound he made. i gave a weak sigh, i knew my words didn't matter.

"i'm not mad at you, i just-" i stopped myself when i looked at his hands. his fingers and nails were dirtied with his own blood. i quickly put my hands over his and separated them.

"please don't do that, you'll hurt yourself"

"i-i don't f-feel pain"

i gave him a look of confusion, my eyebrow raised slightly. his neck cracked a few times before repeating himself again.

"i d-don't f-feel p-ain" he looked up at me with his goggled eyes. "i was b-born w-w-with something c-called CIPA, o-otherwise know as-"

"-as congenital insensitivity to pain and anhydrosis. it's supposed to be extremely rare" i finished his sentence, nodding at the familiarity of the disorder. can't believe i forgot something like that. "my mom was a nurse so i wanted to follow her footsteps"

"d-didn't know you w-were smart" toby gave a small huff of amusement and him being a smart-ass. i could tell he was joking either way.

"my grades say otherwise" i rolled my eyes, giving him a small laugh while rubbing my thumbs against his gloved hands.

"i-i think th-that's the first t-time i've s-seen you smile"

"really? i think so, too"

"s-so im g-guessing i-it was pretty obvious about m-my Tourette's" he jerked twice, followed by his neck cracking.

"i mean, yeah. but it's not like you can control that" i breathily said as i nodded my head.

"th-thats true" he sighed deeply, his shoulders looked as if they both weighed a mountain.

"we don't have to talk about it if you don't want to"

"i-it's f-fine, i brought i-it up" he quickly reassured me as he uncrossed his legs. "a-a-anyways, i-i've gotta g-go"

"oh...okay" i released his hands from my grasp, mine feeling colder without his.

he swung his legs off the bed, standing himself up and walking towards his room door. he looked back at me briefly, our eyes holding contact, just to break it off to open and shut the door behind him.