(I heard a Soft Cell cover today (April 29, 2024) at work and I wanted to turn it into a one shot for USUK. I did this impulsively, enjoy. Song is the title of this 'chapter'. Watch me use it in my other stories lol)
Alfred sank to his knees on the floor of the bathroom, his eyes shut tight. He clenched his jaw, trying not to cry out. He grasped desperately at the fabric of his shirt over his heart. He could still hear the music blasting out in the main room.
He had been invited to a world party. Alfred hadn't been completely sure what they were supposed to be celebrating, but who was he to deny a party?
He wished he had stayed home.
Alfred rubbed his eyes, trying to wipe away the stray tears that rolled down his cheeks. He felt so pathetic. Why was he so upset to begin with? They had broken up months ago. Alfred said it was okay, he would be fine. It wasn't a huge deal to him. Arthur had his own life; he was allowed to go out and do his own thing. Alfred would be perfectly fine.
He lied. He had never felt such a way in the hundreds of years he had been alive. He didn't know what to do. He didn't know where to go. He felt trapped in that bathroom, on the freezing tile floor.
The American choked out a sob, then slapped a hand over his mouth. He didn't understand why it had to hurt so much. The music in the main ballroom grew louder, someone must have turned it up. His eyes widened as he heard the lyrics. This song absolutely did not help his grieving state. He felt like someone added it to the playlist on purpose, to mess with him.
"Baby, baby.
Where did our love go?
Oh, don't you leave me.
Don't you leave me no more."
Alfred let himself cry. They wouldn't be able to hear him now. He prayed no one would need to use this specific bathroom until he was out of tears. Oh, did he feel pathetic. He thought about the day the breakup happened. He still wasn't sure why Arthur wanted to leave. But he didn't want the British man to feel trapped in a relationship with him, so Alfred let him go. He lay down on his side, pressed up against the bathroom door.
"I've got this burning, yearnin', yearnin' feeling inside me
Oh, deep inside me and it hurts so bad."
Alfred longed to have Arthur back in his life. He pretended to be okay out in public. But he craved Arthur's arms around his waist. He wanted to laugh with him again over stupid jokes that only made sense to them. He wanted to dance with him in the rain, he wanted to go on picnics in the park. He wanted to travel around Europe, then take Arthur to the states and travel some more. He wanted to make long lasting memories with Arthur.
"You came into my life so tenderly
With a burning love that stings like a bee
And now that I've surrendered so helplessly
You know I believe you wanna leave me."
Alfred began thinking about the past. When he first met Arthur. He thought about the first time Arthur had to leave him to go back to England. He thought about the revolutionary war. Alfred thought about memories from the past. He thought about when he first realized he like Arthur. He thought about the day he admitted his feelings. The day they got together.
Alfred thought about the day he realized he was head over heels in love with Arthur.
He cried even harder. There wasn't anyway Arthur was going to come back to him. He could feel it in the depths of his soul.
"Oh baby, baby
Where did our love go?
Oh baby, baby
Don't you leave me no more."
Alfred tuned the song out, disassociating on the floor of the bathroom. A few tears still rolled down his face, but he wasn't actively crying anymore. He felt completely numb. He stared straight ahead at the wall. He wasn't thinking about anything at this point. He let out a shaky sigh before slowly standing up. He dragged his feet as he walked to the sink to splash water in his face.
Alfred looked up and stared into the mirror. He looked fine at this point, other than the fact that the whites of his eyes were red from crying his eyes out. The American took his phone out to check the time. He felt his heart sink to his stomach. He had been in there for twenty minutes and had several unread texts from other countrypeople that were looking for him.
Alfred quickly dried his face off and snuck back into the party as stealthy as he could possibly manage. Luckily for him the lights were dimmed. No one would know he had been crying.
He walked around, assuring everyone he was fine. He lied and said he had to take an important phone call. Everyone he spoke to believed him.
Unfortunately for Alfred, Arthur wanted to ask how he was. Alfred swallowed nervously as he noticed the British man approach him.
"Alfred? How are you doing? I heard you went missing for a bit." He said softly.
Alfred smiled down at him, trying to appear normal.
"Ha ha, everything's good! I just had to answer an important call!" He stated a little too loudly.
Arthur eyed him up and down suspiciously. He clearly didn't believe him. Arthur knew Alfred like the back of his hand. Of course he did, he always did.
"Alfred. Please, be honest with me, are you doing okay?"
Alfred's smile faltered slightly, but he quickly put his hero persona back on.
"Yep! Nothing to be worried about, dude, I've been doing awesome."
Arthur still didn't believe him, because of course he didn't. He knew Alfred all too well. The American wished he didn't. He wished he could transfer all his pain into a little box so he would never have to feel it again. He wished he could go back in time and stop himself so he would never have to be in this situation at a party he doesn't even know the theme of.
He wished he could just have Arthur back in his life the same way he a few months ago, where they could either talk for hours, or sit in a comfortable silence. Alfred though about the way he still didn't understand why they broke up. They were practically perfect. They complimented each other.
It felt so sudden to him. He could feel his chest aching. His throat was dry. His hands felt heavy and numb. A pit formed in his stomach. He wanted to run but didn't move. He didn't even realize he had started crying until Arthur spoke.
"Alfred, please, what's wrong? You're crying." He whispered.
Alfred snapped out of his trance and looked around. No one had noticed, but it still felt like everyone was staring and judging him silently. He looked back to Arthur one last time before taking off through the closest exit, ignoring his ex-boyfriend's worried calls.
