To Be In Pain

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Guys

I swear

I was watching the last four episodes of steven universe future

And i just

That episode with Stevens meltdown "I am my monster" had me thinking about shit in my own life

Like with trying to say everythings fine

And it made me realize that I'm still not okay

As often as I try to tell myself I'm okay I know deep down im not

I'm trans and I tried to come out to my parents but now it feels like I'm back in the closet

I dont know who the fuck to talk to anymore

People who go on others stories will tell those authors they can talk to them

Ice done it too
People say it to me

But I just dont have the courage to go through and message them because I feel like im wasting their time

I really just dont know what to do with myself

That monster steven turned into is a pretty great representation of everything

And I bet other people related to it to

Everything just feels so big

I can't even talk to my own family about the whole transgender thing simply because they don't agree with it

I feel like ive just been hiding my whole life and I dont know how to deal with it

I wanna talk to my friends but it always feels like I'm wasting their damn time

Im thinking about messaging one of my friends in more detail but theres a small parr of me that's afraid they won't care

I constantly feel like im in my own war in my head with no way out and I dont have anyone to help me with it

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