Bloom Again

CHAPTER 15

Till eternity is no more

When I married Eos, I said that I would love her, take care of her, till eternity is no more. Eternity hasn't ceased existence as of yet, and my feelings haven't changed. Hahaoya is worried that the girls need a mother figure, and my WhatsApp is constantly ringing with blind dates that I can go to. Day after day, she tries to set me up again and again, and every day, I refuse. She understands where I stand, but she wants me to just have someone who can be a mother, even if it's just a full time nanny of sorts. I can't commit to the idea. The idea itself brings a foul taste to my mouth, and a kick to my gut. When I am purely with my children, I see Eos, and I'm not alone. It doesn't feel like she's missing, and I feel complete. I'm afraid that as soon as I let another mother figure, Eos would be gone again, and it would be forever. I said till eternity is no more, and I keep my promises.

Akina came up to me today, a notebook in her hands. She had found it laying astray and wanted me to show her what it was about. The aging notebook's worn pages rustled, as I looked through it with Akina by my side. Small dried flowers rustled, and loose pages flitted about, finally given the wings they wanted, the wings I created them to have.

'This notebook was my old song book. Back when your Mama and I were younger, and we could run amok through the trees, I first started writing in this book. Mama gave this to me, because she was so sick of me writing on my hands, or the treehouse walls. I don't think you would have noticed the pencil marks, but if you look closely, lyrics upon lyrics are inscribed on that wood.' I explained.

The notebook was my first ever song writing notebook, and although it was from when I was much younger and not as involved in the trade, it was the beginning of who I am. I finally find the page that I was looking for, and show it to Akina, waiting for her reaction to my scrawly lyrics.

It's the way you smile, it makes the world seem much brighter

You are the only one in my eyes.

I can not live a moment without you,

I can not run.

I can not hide.

You are the only one in my life.

Don't leave me side,

I'm helpless without you,

I can not breathe.

The worlds almost suffocating me,

But when you're here with me,

The air is in my lungs once more,

So please,

Stay with me.

My orange tulip,

You bloomed right in front of me,

As your petals opened up to the world,

I finally see your beauty.

My orange tulip,

My new beginning,

I will see you again.

New every spring,

I will long,

I will love,

My orange tulip,

You bloomed right in front of me,

As your petals opened up to the world,

I finally see your beauty.

As you turn away,

Even if you fade away,

My orange tulip,

I will wait for you to bloom again.

Spring will come again

All I can hope is that

One day,

We will meet again.

If it is our fate,

To meet again,

Then we will

When the orange tulip blooms once more.

Akina's doe eyes bore into me, "Did you ever show her Ba?"

"No, never."

"I miss her Ba. I miss her hugs, and the goodnight's. I miss her smile. I miss the way we used to be," she tucks her head into me, and I feel her tears seep into my shirt. "Will she ever come back?"

"No, she can't, but she never left. She's right here," I bring her palm to her heart, and let her feel the pulse.

"Really?"

"Really."