~Evermore~ (Twilight x Yor)

Chapter-29 ~ Dilemma

Yor didn't know how to respond to his question, the intense sorrow, grief and guilt took over her mind and heart once again. Moreover, she had never seen Loid like this... she had never truly seen him being sad.

*I-I-I myself don't know how I'll be able to carry on with life anymore... after what I've done. I don't know how to face Loid-san or Anya anymore... I don't even know how I'll justify myself if even make it up to them.... It's just too l-l-la-te.....

And she fainted inside the taxi.

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Yor slightly opened her eyes. She was in the bedroom. The room was cold and she was barely able to keep herself conscious. There was no one else in the room except for her.

"L-Loid-san? Where are you?", she trembled.

There was no reply. She tried to get up from the bed, barely able to move. She sat up and with the support of the bedside table, tried to get up. She limped to the door and opened it.
P
Anya and Loid were sitting in the living room and watching Bondman like nothing had happened. The scene seemed so perfect, but it was far from the truth. Even though Loid, Anya and Yor had managed to make it out alive, everything was still far from perfect. Even if Anya was doing well, Yor could not forget how she almost took away her father from her, and in fact, how she almost got her own husband and love killed due to an inner dilemma.

"L-L-Loid san- how are you?", she murmured.

Anya screamed in joy when she saw her and ran towards her to hug her, "Mama is okay! Papa told me about the accident."

She hugged her back, "Yes... Anya-san I'm alright. What about you and papa?"

Loid did not say a word.

"Papa and Anya are super-duper good!", she screamed.

Anya dragged Yor to the living room couch, "Look Mama! See what I made!"

It was a get well soon card with Yor's drawing on it.

"Anya-san...! This is so wonderful... thank you."

*I don't deserve this family.... I'm trying so hard in front of Anya to keep my tears in... I don't even know what will happen next... all that I know is that I don't deserve these two... I don't deserve them at all.*

Yor sat on the couch, next to Loid. "So... how are you, Loid-san?"

Loid did not reply.

"I asked, how are you?", Yor raised her voice slightly.

"How am I?", he responded.

Anya giggled for a second but then stopped after she read their minds. Anya wasn't exactly able to understand what was going on between them but she could sense the intense guilt and heartbreak from both of their thoughts.

"Are Mama and Papa fighting?", she asked.

Loid replied, "No, Anya. There's no such thing going on."

Yor also added in, "Loid-san is right. We are not fighting."

Anya replied, "Papa, you're a liar. And Mama... you're even a bigger one."

Those words were it. Yor was now far ahead of her breaking point. She couldn't keep it in or bear it anymore.

Loid scolded Anya, "Anya! That is no way to talk to your parents. Go to your room and finish your homework! No more TV for today."

He switched off the TV and Yor started to tear up. Anya also ran towards her room, crying.

"Yor. Come to the room.", he said.

They both went into the bedroom. Loid sat on one side of the bed and invited Yor to sit on the other side.

She sat down, still her face was covered with tears.

"Loid-san... I don't even know how I'll live anymore... with all this guilt... and the pain and regret for what I almost did to you... I just can't forgive myself and I don't even know-"

She was cut off by Loid, "Look... even I don't know what's next for us and the Forger family as a whole. The past is too huge to put behind us and too troublesome to keep with us. My trust and love was violated on a degree that I myself even am unable to comprehend."

Yor replied, "I know..."

Loid was very angry, "Ugh! It's this fucking cocky attitude of yours. Instead of fucking doing something, why are you helpless? Even when I goddamn need you the most... you're engulfed by your own guilt and regret of your own fucking actions. I don't even fucking get what you did and why the fuck you did it. Are you dumb? Are you actually dumb?"

Her tears started to increase, "Yes... yes I am! I am dumb... and that's why I'll never take a decision on my conscience ever again."

Loid screamed, "Oh my fucking god... see... this is what you don't get. Instead of fucking moping around and saying helpless and senseless things like that, why don't you.... I don't know... do something for fucks sake."

Yor replied, "I am sorry-"

He interrupted, "Yor, you were my first love. I truly fell in love with you... it wasn't for any mission. I genuinely, as a person fell in love with you. My heart fell in love with your heart, my body fell in love with your body, my mind fell in love with yours and my soul.... my soul fell in love with US. The thought of US: you, me and Anya living together happily as a family. That's what my soul fell in love with. And that.... That requires a fuck ton amount of trust. Which..... I don't think I have anymore."

Yor asked, "Do you still love me?"

There was a silence. No one spoke anything. There was no sound, not even of tears or anything else. It was completely silent.

Loid was staring into Yor's sober crimson eyes and Yor was almost about to faint.

Loid spoke, "Yes. I do still love you. Come here...."

He opened his arms wide for a hug. Yor's tears completely stopped and she slowly advanced into his embrace.

They hugged briefly... but then Loid himself started to tear up...

"Loid-san, please don't cry-", she trembled.

Loid replied, "I did so fucking much... and in the end all I got was betrayal... I gave you so much love and comfort... I gave you everything... I gave you my soul.... I gave you myself..."

Yor stopped crying, "Loid-san. I am truly and deeply sorry... for whatever I've done. But I now vow to make it up to you and Anya. I swear on god and myself that I will protect you both no matter what, no matter what you both are everything for me and I will always.... Always protect you."

She grasped Loid and pulled him into her embrace... "I love you."

Loid hugged her but was still crying on her chest.

Yor patted his head, "It's all going to be okay now. I won't let anything happen to you... EVER."

He stopped crying and looked up into her eyes, "I love you, Yor. Don't ever break my heart again. Let's preserve what we have... let's cherish it and live happily... let's make the ideal Forger household a true reality."