FORBIDDEN LOVE SERIES: THE MISTRESS

FOURTY THREE

Nakaupo ako ngayon sa upuan namin sa sala. Nasa sala sina mama at kandong si Lili doon. Pareho sila ni tatay na nakatanaw sa aming dalawa ni Duke. Ang lalaki naman ay nasa aking harapan at kanina pa pasulyap-sulyap sa kung nasaan si Lili.

Napabuntong hininga ako. I was about to say something when Duke spoke. "What is her name?"

He was looking at Lili tenderly as if he is the father and he didn't even know that he has a kid. Oh no. Gusto kong mapahilamos ng aking mukha. I don't want to hurt him. Hindi ko alam kung paano ko puputukin ang bula ng saya sa kaniyang mga mata ngayon.

Napailing ako. "Duke, hindi—"

"She's turning three right? She's just around Leehan's age"

Hindi ko na alam ang gagawin ko. Lili is my old friend's daughter. She's my daughter and I love her like she came from me, but the reality is, I am not her real mother. Si Ashley ang ina nito. Hindi ito anak ni Duke at paano niya magiging anak ito? Ang akala niya ba nabuntis niya ako noon at tinaguan ko siya ng anak?

"Duke—"

"You know, I've seen a same situation like this. I know someone who also runaway with her kids and I was the one who helped her. Hindi ko alam kung anong mararamdaman ni Leandro noon, ngayon alam ko na"

Napahilamos na talaga ako ng aking mukha. Hindi ko na napigilan. Lumingon ako kay mama at agad naman niyang nakuha ang gusto ko. My parents know where did Lili came from. Naging bukas ako sa kanila ukol doon. Ang tanging hindi lang nila alam ay ang koneksyon ko sa gwapong lalaki ngayon sa harapan ko. Alam kong kanina pa sila humihingi ng sagot sa akin.

Naglakad si mama patungo sa akin at inilagay si Lili sa aking kandungan. Umupo naman si mama sa may upuang malapit din naman sa akin, tumabi sa kaniya si tatay. Nagpapasalamat ako na hinahayaan nila akong ayusin ngayon ang sitwasyon na ito, na ako lang. Alam ko namang nandiyan lang sila palagi.

"Let me speak this time, Duke. Ayaw mo kasi akong patapusin kaya paano ako makakapag-explain sayo"

He was still looking at Lili tenderly. The longing in his eyes stayed. Napabuntong hininga nanaman ako. Nang sabihin ko nga yon ay buti nalang at bumalik ang mga mata niya sa akin, pero nanatili ang pangungulila doon, na parang pati ako ay miss na miss niya.

"Lili is not..." paano ko ba sasabihin. I couldn't say that she's not my daughter because in my heart, she is. "Lili is my daughter but...she didn't really came from me"

Naguluhan siya sa aking sinabi at natahimik. Parang nanghihina ako habang nakikita ang pagkawala ng pag-asa sa mga mata niya. Even the longing was evident in his eyes earlier, I could still see the hope in there. That somehow he was hoping she is his.

I know that there was a possibility of him getting me pregnant before but he didn't. Hindi ako buntis nang umalis ako noon at kung buntis man ako noon ay hindi ako ganoon basta-basta aalis. I would think of the child over me. Hindi ako basta-basta aalis noon, I would tell it to him.

"Her name is Lilac, we call her Lili. Her mother is from our old town. I only saw her again here in my first work, we were working in Casino that's why she hid her pregnancy. She also has her boyfriend that time and she had pregnant..." I couldn't say Ashley's story. It's not for me to tell. "She asked me to take care of Lili because she had to go with her boyfriend in the US. I...it was hard for me, I am not capable of taking care of baby, Duke. I was barely surviving that time. I had to work 12 hours to eat. I don't know what to do, but accepting Ashley favor is the best thing I ever did"

"She's not ours?" His voice croaked with pain. That reached my heart and I was also got broken with the that kind of tone he gave.

Umiling ako. Kita ko ang pagbagsak ng balikat ni Duke. He was expecting that she's his daughter.