The way YOU saved ME

uncondionally

*Alex*

"Friends", that word circulated in my head since she said it. We are friends. Nothing more, nothing less. And even if it was better than nothing, I didn't want to be her friend.

I mean I wanted to but I wanted to be more. I just wanted to be with her. Close to her.

And I was immensely happy that her and the kids were accompanying me this weekend. Even though it had meant a lot of organization. 

Remo was, because of his broken leg, in a wheelchair and we had to make sure to get everything arranged to his needs. I took that part, while Isa arranged everything else. 

I tried to help her as much as I could but surely wasn't able to take all of her worries. 

It felt like she wasn't really letting me in anymore. Like she wanted to be friends but shut me out of everything else. 

She was suddenly way closer to Franky again and I didn't like that. I hated that she went to him whenever she needed comfort. 

I could see in her eyes how much his embrace gave to her. I could see how much she needed his closeness whenever it became super busy.

 Now again she was leaning against his shoulder, her eyes closed, taking deep breathes while his hand slowly stroked over her arm.

It made me wanna explode.

I wanted her to be with me that way again. 

But she was with him and I was wondering if they were sleeping with each other. It wasn't my business after all and still it made me jealous.

The thought alone made me jealous.

Friends. Of course.

Fuck Friends. 

I didn't want to be friends. 

I wanted to have her like that night in the hospital. I wanted her to moan my name again...

Shit she was making me loose my mind. 

But we were friends. 

Friends.

And she just fell asleep on Franky's shoulder. 

At least I would have her and the kids with me in the box for the whole weekend. Mostly because of the kids but she would be there too.

And then Marc came to my mind again. Another man that would try to bang her. 

Another man that was sure better than me.

And I had been right. As soon as we entered the box Marc was all over her and tried to get her attention with everything he had.

Gosh how much I hated my brother sometimes. 

He walked around like a peacock, showing her everything as if she hadn't been to a MotoGP pit ever before. His hands all over her.

And I could feel the jealousy inside me find new highs.

He always did that. Whenever I had liked someone, he made sure that I was uninteresting. He made sure that I looked like nothing but a little fool.

I huffed when I was about to get back to the motorhome to rest a bit before we would need to get ready. I wordlessly collected the kids to take them with me. Trying not to give a thought about Isa. 

But as soon as I was about to leave the box with the kids, she joined my side, taking Bella from my arms. She didn't say a word either but smiling up to me.