Am I worth it? //Hyunlix//

1

The sound of the alarm was filling the room, the blue haired boy was sleeping calmly in his bed, not waking up to the sound of his alarm.

After the alarm sounded for a while the door suddenly opened revealing an angry figure storming in his room, it was his father.

"Lee Felix get the fuck up if you don't want to be late!" he yelled as he pulled the covers off the boy.

The boy opened his eyes as he lazily got out of bed and went to the bathroom.

[Felix]

I took a shower and went to school, the school I hated so much ever since we moved to Korea.

When I was little we lived in Australia, by 'we' I mean my father, my mother and my 15 year old sister.

As soon as I entered the class I rushed to my seat next to the window and quietly started to organize my books. After a while I saw Han enter the class and sit next me like he always does. Han's my best friend ever since we were in kindergarten.

"Hiii" he said.

"Hi Hannie" I replied.

"You look pretty, did you do something different with your hair today?"

"Nope, but thanks anyway, you look pretty too"

"Oh well thank you my good friend" he said with a mocking English accent.

We talked for a while until the bell rung and the teacher entered the classroom.

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It was lunch time, we were walking to the cafeteria when I bumped into someone making me fall to the ground.

"The fuck, watch where you are going asshole"

I looked in front of me seeing a blackhaired boy with thick lips and beautiful pale skin.

"I'm sorry..." I said scared.

"Sorry my ass, now move" he said as he got up and walked past me angrily.

I got up with Han's help as he looked at me with big eyes.

"Dude do you know who you just bumped into?"

"No..." I looked at him confused.

"That was Hyunjin, THE Hwang Hyunjin"

"So...??" I raised my eyebrow.

"SO?! He's literally the most rich and popular guy in the whole fucking school and you say SO?"

"Wait, really?"

"Yes really"

"Oh...okay"

"You're seriously unbelievable" Han said as he sighed walking to the cafeteria.

I followed him as we sat down to eat. I stared at my food while bad thoughts crossed my mind, which Han noticed immediatley.

"Aren't you gonna eat?" he asked me.

"Oh...yeah I got distracted, sorry"

"Lixie, you okay?" Han gave me a worried look.

"Yes, don't worry" I gave him a fake smile as I started eating the pasta on my plate.

As soon as I finished eating I quickly got up and ran to the bathroom. After I got in a stall I threw up my lunch. I heard Han enter the bathroom calling for me, but I didn't bother answering or opening the door, I just wanted to be alone.

"Felix!! Open the door, I know you are in here" Han said as he knocked on the door.

I started crying feeling guilty for eating and then leaving Han sitting alone at the cafeteria to go throw up because of my insecurities.

I've always seen myself as a fat person, I always got commented on my weight, for being too skinny or for eating too much. The worst part is that all those comments came mostly from my parents and my "friends".

I always think that if it wasn't for Han I wouldn't be here anymore as I've tried 2 suicide attempts by now, but Han always appeared and stopped me on time, I honestly don't know what I'd do without him.

After letting Han in, he helped me clean up and calmed me down as we later went to class.

As soon as the last period ended I grabbed my things and left quickly in order to not get beaten up outside, but I failed.

I was walking to the door as I suddenly got pulled by my backpack on to the floor, I got dragged to an empty hallway and pushed to the wall.

"Trying to escape, little boy?" A voice spoke in front of me.

I looked up to see a tall figure standing over me.

"J-just leave me alone" I said trying to get up but being stopped by a foot stepping on my thigh.

I yelled in pain feeling a hand cover my mouth. The figure was now a clear vision, it was Jungkook. He always takes his anger out on me so I'm not really suprised to see him.

"You wanna get us in trouble little asshole?" He said with gritted teeth.

I felt my thigh free from his foot and my mouth uncovered, but I knew what was coming so I wasn't relieved. His fist met my face, one punch, two, three, four...I lost count.

After laying down on the cold floor for an hour maybe, I finally got up, walking home quickly.

"I'm home" I said opening the front door.

"Lee Felix! Come here right now!" My father yelled.

I went to the kitchen where my father was, seeing him walking to me as soon as he saw me.

"Do you know what time it is?? What makes you think that you can come home 2 fucking hours late and that you will not be punished??" He yelled at me red of anger.

"I'm sorry, I stayed studying in the library"

"Go to your fucking room! You're not eating today, and you will give us your phone"

Better, I wasn't planing on eating anyways so doesn't really bother me, I thought.

I went to my room instantly going to the bathroom and locking the door behind me, I sat on the floor bringing my knees to my chest as I hid my head in them.

You're such a fucking dissapointment, you're so fat that even your own parents don't want you to eat, such a fucking dissapointment that you get bullied everyday and nobody gives a shit, you deserve everything that happens to you.

I brushed the tears that were rolling down my cheeks and quickly got up to get one of my blades, I took it to my forearm as I started cutting my skin deeply, I saw blood dripping from my arm, but I didn't care, I continued to cut all up to my wrist cutting even harder. After a while I cleaned the blade and left it to dry on the sink. I got in the shower filling the hot water burning my fresh cuts, but I didn't even flinch. Once I finished my shower I got dressed and flopped on the bed falling asleep easily.

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