off limits ✧ zb1 applyfic

✧ fifty nine

Ever since she'd come back to Seoul for summer break, Haewon had visited the Zhang mansion more times than she could count. At this point, it felt like a bit of a second home to her, though she could hardly imagine living in a house as grand as this one. Compared to her dorm room, which was still quite a bit larger than the default one in other universities, this estate was simply gigantic. So many rooms, so many hallways, she sometimes wondered how Hao managed not to get lost. From time to time, the mansion appeared almost cold, its high ceilings and open, empty spaces feeling more like a museum than a home. But with Hao by her side, it always felt much warmer.

This time though, Hao was not with her as she visited the Zhang mansion. In fact he had not been the one to invite her over. Haewon had been quite surprised when she'd received a call from Mrs. Zhang out of the blue, asking her to have tea with her at her house. Of course, she'd accepted, as this was her boyfriend's mother, and she always seemed quite eager to spend time with her. But now, as the two sat in the formal living room, silently sipping from their teacups, Haewon sort of wished she'd just come up with an excuse not to come. It was just a little awkward, in the way any moment spent by Mrs. Zhang's side always was.

"So, my dear," the older lady spoke up as she lowered her teacup down to the table, "have you been enjoying your summer back home?"

It was a question Haewon had been asked hundreds of times, a question she'd answered hundreds of times, hell, one that she was sure Mrs. Zhang had asked before. Still, Haewon replied. In her many years raised in a wealthy family, she'd learned all about manners. It turned out etiquette was mostly about entertaining boring conversations with forgetful people.

"Most definitely, yes. It's been such a healing time. I'm glad I came back."

Mrs. Zhang's red lips stretched into an almost cat-like smile. "I see, I'm happy to hear it. If you feel so good here, you might not even want to go back to California!"

Ah, there it was. The dreaded topic. Maybe that was the reason she'd invited her here to begin with. Haewon could have very well spent hours conversing on tea flavors and wallpaper colors if it meant avoiding this subject.

"After all, there are prestigious medical schools in Seoul too," Mrs. Zhang quickly added, sensing the shift in Haewon's mood.

She sighed into her teacup, already feeling a headache coming on. "It may be so, but studying at Stanford is without a doubt the best opportunity I have ever had, and ever will have. I've been dreaming of making a life for myself in the USA since I was a child. It wouldn’t make sense to give up now, when I've been doing so well. Wouldn’t you agree?"

It was obvious from the way Mrs. Zhang's perfectly curated smile fell that she, in fact, did not agree. Haewon couldn’t blame her. She was thinking of her son first and foremost, which seemed to be the only thing she ever did, much to the detriment of her own daughter. No one could fault her for wanting her son's happiness, even if she mistakenly thought it could only come in the form of Haewon. Surely, she ought to know a talented man like Hao had a lot more to live for than a regular girl he'd met as a kid. He would survive perfectly fine without her...

"I guess that's true. But I do find it terribly sad that you and my Hao will be separated. Do you..." She paused for a second, as if she knew the next thing she would say would be out of line. "Do you not think you would be able to handle a long distance relationship?"

Three words, three simple words, that always seemed to grab at her chest and crush her heart. A long distance relationship. People always seemed to laud it as this perfect solution, this one revolutionary idea that surely had never crossed her mind. As if she hadn’t thought about it enough, tortured herself with the concept until she couldn’t think right anymore. She'd weighed the pros and the cons, made lists upon lists in her head.