off limits ✧ zb1 applyfic

✧ eighty

As was their monthly tradition, the Shen family and the Zhang family had a grand lunch together, hosted this time by Mrs. Shen. She was always a gracious, devoted host, who made sure to cook meals she knew her guests particularly enjoyed. In fact, she made it a point to learn all about the likes and dislikes of her friends, so she would welcome them better. Yanmei's tastes still escaped her, though, as she never showed up to these dinners, much to Audrey's dismay. She already had to suffer through those at her house, she couldn’t stand to have them elsewhere too.

Once again, Ricky found himself fully understanding why Yanmei would bail on these lunches. As always, it had been a back and forth of business talk between all four of their parents, and not a single topic raised had so much as piqued his interest. Even when prompted to participate, Ricky did the bare minimum of nodding along, already struggling to listen. Audrey, too, stayed mostly silent, only answering the more personal questions when Mrs. Zhang remembered she existed. Hao was the only one of the children to regularly speak up, but he was always done talking by the time Ricky had convinced himself to pay attention.

Today's topic was his mother's clothing line, which should have interested him, were it not for Mr. Zhang's derailing to the optics of fabric importation. Ricky's brain was close to exploding with all the business jargon he'd had to sit through, and quite frankly, the food wasn't even good enough to distract him — Mrs. Zhang had weird tastes, as it turned out. After debating with himself on what would be the polite way to get the hell out of here and away from this conversation, Ricky cleared his throat.

"I'm not feeling very well," he half-lied. The boring business talk was certainly chipping away at his life expectancy. "If you'll excuse me, I should go get some fresh air."

Ricky did not even wait to be excused, satisfied with his own justification. In great strides, he walked to the back door and onto the patio, the sound of voices fading away with each step. Peace, at last. It was only noon, yet the sun hung high in the sky, and the heat made the neatly-trimmed grass of the backyard waver. The wood of the patio creaked underneath his feet, as he took in the sounds of birds chirping in the centuries old trees that had first seen the light of day on this property. It was a much better sound than manifestos about fabric importation, that much was for sure. Ricky's mind felt clearer already.

Well, no, that wasn’t exactly true. As he sat down on a lawn chair, Ricky let out a sigh. Something had definitely been occupying his brain lately, without ever letting up. It was hard not to think about Vicky, his feelings for her, the myriad of options he had, without any idea which path was the correct one. Ricky had never had to deal with such things, but such was the price to pay for true love, he figured. It was a lot harder than the song and dance he'd indulged in many times before. It required bravery, authenticity, all qualities he'd never quite bothered to develop.

He was too deep in his thoughts to hear the back door open behind him, as Hao stepped onto the patio.

"You okay?" The sound of his voice did manage to wake him up. "You look even more distracted than usual."

A sigh escaped his lips. "I've just had a lot on my mind lately."

"That so? How unusual. And what exactly has been bothering you?"

Ever since his realization, Ricky hadn’t dared say the words out loud. He'd tried, notably with Audrey, but always felt overwhelmed by the idea that once he would admit it not only to himself, but to someone else, it would set him down a path he could not turn from. That being said, if there was someone on this planet who could give him advice, valuable, proven advice, it was Hao. He was probably the only person he knew to be in a long-term, successful relationship. Well, aside from his parents. But that would be too awkward. Better to ask Hao.