off limits ✧ zb1 applyfic

✧ fifty seven

It seemed obvious now, that Haewon had been a little too distracted since she'd come back to Seoul. It was due in no small part to Hao's presence, but quite frankly, the atmosphere here, back in her hometown, was so warm and comfortable that she found it hard to think about anything else. It had taken her a little bit to get used to it again, but with the help of her family and the many new friends she'd managed to make, this place had become her home once more. She felt safe here.

But this wasn't eternal, and Haewon couldn’t forget about the life she'd put on hold back in California. She hadn’t studied in far too long, too busy going on a beach trip and hanging out with Hao, and that simply couldn’t happen. She had plans, plans she'd concocted back when she was only a child. She had to follow them to the letter, and that meant studying day in and day out, even if she needed to sacrifice sleep.

And yet, there was one thing she couldn’t quite sacrifice: Hao's company. That was how she'd ended up in the music room of the Zhang mansion, reading a never ending paper on anesthesiology on her laptop, while Hao was practicing the violin. She wanted to spend as much time as possible with him, even if it meant only being in the same room, and not doing anything together. Just having him near her was enough. She could focus, that way.

Unfortunately, it wouldn’t last forever. She was already halfway through her summer break, and soon, she'd have to hop on a plane and go back to a life of loneliness and academics. It was the life she'd chosen for herself, and yet... That knowledge didn’t make the inevitable separation any easier.

Too engrossed in her research, she barely even noticed as the music faded to nothing, and Hao put his violin down.  Though she did feel his warmth as he approached her, and sat down right next to her on the bench, his intense gaze not once leaving her form.

"Are you okay?" he asked, a hint of worry in his voice.

Only then did Haewon realize that her leg had been nervously bouncing up and down, and her eyebrows were drawn together so tight she was sure it would leave a mark. Of course he'd noticed. He noticed everything.

"I'm fine, don't worry," she attempted to reassure him, though her voice rang fake even to her ears. "I just need to keep my brain trained so I don't go back to California like a tourist."

She'd worked too damn hard these past few years to let it all go down the drain. There was nothing she wanted more than that education, that job she'd always dreamed about — and yes, she did want Hao, very badly, but... She needed to be rational. Think about her future. Though it was always hard to imagine one without him...

The sudden pressure on her shoulder didn't help those thoughts evaporate. Without a word, Hao had come to rest his chin right on her shoulder, his body shifting closer to hers. Her brain instantly blurred under his touch, as her fingertips burned with longing. Then, Hao pulled out an even bigger weapon, and peppered one, two, three, far too many kisses on her cheek, then down to her jaw. Haewon's hands that had been scrolling down went slack, a sudden spell of dizziness threatening to have her pass out.

Even as Hao continued kissing her, Haewon tried to bear it, her jaw clenched and her teeth gritted determinedly. She needed to finish that paper, she really did! But none of the words she was reading made sense, and the screen blurred under her eyes, and every thought she tried to conjure up was covered by the loud sound of her racing heart. On second thought, maybe studying in the same room as Hao was a bad idea. The worst idea, in fact.

"Um, Hao," she managed to murmur, her voice uncharacteristically meek. "I'm trying to focus."

The bright sound of his laughter came to tickle her ear. "Oh? Am I troubling you?"

The pang in her heart was so strong and prickly she thought she was dying for a second. It wasn't always that Hao liked to show his teasing, more needy side, but whenever he did, there was no fighting him. Even one word from him sufficed to send her into a strange, weirdly pleasant trance. As much as she'd tried to work up an immunity to it, that slight raspy whine in his voice was her biggest weakness by far.